Beavis: Who the hell is this buttmunch?! What's going on here?
Butt-head: What's with all these faces he's making? He's like, trying to be scary and all heavy and intense and stuff.
Beavis: Who's this other guy, that keeps, like, trying to get in front of him?
Butt-head: I think he's just some jackass that wandered on the set. Maybe he's like, the drummer, and like, they got there and they said "Where are your drums?" and he's like, "Uhh, I thought they were in the van."
Beavis: And they're like, "You mean you didn't bring your drums?"
Butt-head: And they said "Okay, it's your own fault. You're gonna have to wander around like a buttmunch for the whole video."
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. And then he said "Okay, that's okay with me, yeah. I can do that."
Butt-head: What a jack-butt-munch-ass-dumb-butt.

Beavis: Whoa check it out, they got some of that Keeyotepcate up there, up above that guy's hands.
Butt-head: Uhhh...oh yeah, that is Kaotepkate.
Beavis: Y'know, um...that stuff, y'know, like, tastes really bad, and um, it's expensive. But then it doesn't really work.
Butt-head: Uh, really?
Beavis: It's supposed to be for diarrhea. So I took it for a whole week, and I never got diarrhea.
Butt-head: Beavis...
Beavis: Then about four days later, this brick pooped out of my butt.
Butt-head: Cool.
Beavis: It was pretty cool. It was like, really big...I can show it to you if you want.
Butt-head: You still have it?
Beavis: Oh yeah, I still have it. It's in my underwear drawer.
Butt-head: Beavis, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear any of this.
Beavis: Why?

Beavis: Whoa look, check it out Butt-head, it's a dead horse!
Butt-head: Yeah. Remember that time we found that dead horse?
Beavis: Oh yeah. We like ran and jumped on his stomach, and then like, all that gunk shot out of his butt.
Butt-head: Yeah. That was cool.
Beavis: Oh yeah. That was sad. Imagine if Godzilla was dead, imagine all the stuff that would fly out of his butt.
Me'shell Ndegéocello, If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)

Beavis: Whoa! A dead body! Check it out!
Coach Buzzcut: Give the man some air! He's not dead yet!
[Buzzcutt gives him mouth-to-mouth] [The final lines of the series as the boys walk off to the strings of love music and sirens--with the money collected in their names]

Beavis: Whoa! A flying skull. That's cool!
Butt-head: Yeah. It's too bad this music sucks.

Beavis: Whoa! Check it out! A flying Poop-tart! They oughta make that, like poop-tarts, like when they pop out of the toaster, they go POOP!

Beavis: Whoa! Check it out, Butt-head! That's that guy from My Three Sons! That's Ernie from My Three Sons! See? Back in the doorway? That's him!
Butt-head: Oh yeah! That is him. Check this out. [Imitates Ernie] Hey Uncle Charley. Seems like a lot of work to me.
Beavis: [Also imitating Ernie] Hey Uncle Charley. I think I'll go put on a stupid dork outfit and go dance like a wuss for a while.
Butt-head: [Continuously imitating Ernie] Hey Uncle Charley. I think me and Chip are gonna dance around like a bunch of dorks.
Beavis: And then, like, Uncle Charley's like [Imitates Uncle Charley] Dammit Ernie, I'm trying to make a cake here! Will you get out of the kitchen and quit acting like a dork?!
Butt-head: [laughs] Yeah.
Beavis: Yeah. My three son-of-a-bitches.
Buster Poindexter, Zat You Santa Claus?

Beavis: Whoa! Check it out, Butt-head, they're gonna put him in the oven! AH!
Butt-head: Yeah. They're putting him in the oven 'cause no one likes him anymore.
Beavis: Um, I still kinda like him, but um, but y'know, I think it's cool that they're gonna put him in the oven. Y'know.

Beavis: Whoa! Check out that chick's panties!
Butt-head: Damn it, Beavis! Don't talk to me when a chick's panties are on TV. It's like...you mess up my mind, and I can't see the panties right.

Beavis: Whoa! Cool! This RULES! It rules! Yeah, YES! Yeah! Hey Butt-head, now check this out, see, check it out, this guy's chasin' him, STAB HIM, STAB HIM! Yeah.
Butt-head: Damn it, Beavis! You're not supposed to get me out of the bathroom unless it's like a naked chick or something.
Beavis: Yeah, but even like, if this video really does suck, I bet you forgot to wipe!
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis!
Infectious Grooves, Violent and Funky

Beavis: Whoa! I think he's saying "Get your gun."
Butt-head: Uh...I think this is one of those "Stop the violence" things...you know, like enough is enough.
Beavis: You know, they really should um, stop the violence, because sometimes it hurts, you know? It's like, maybe you like, gave peace a chance, and like...[Butt-head smacks Beavis] OW! CUT IT OUT, BUTT-HEAD!
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis! I'm trying to watch this! [Beavis kicks Butt-head in the testicles] UUHH! Dammit, Beavis!
Beavis: Dammit Butt-head! I'm just trying to say, you know, that if they stopped the violence...[Butt-head slaps Beavis again]
Butt-head: Now quit acting like a damn wuss, Beavis, or I'm gonna get medieval on your ass!
Marilyn Manson, Long Hard Road Out of Hell

Beavis: Whoa! If I had a mic like that, I'd stick a mic into every end, so I'd be four times as loud.
Butt-head: Uh...no you wouldn't. You can only sing into one end at a time, Beavis.
Beavis: Not if I spun it around really fast, Butt-head.
Butt-head: No you wouldn't, Beavis. You'd still be singing into one end at a time.
Beavis: No, Butt-head. I'd spin it around and go REALLY fast. I'd be like [high-pitched groaning].
Butt-head: Uh...yeah, I guess that might work.
Metallica, For Whom the Bell Tolls

Beavis: Whoa! She just licked that dude's armpit!
Butt-head: Yeah. The guy with the best nads gets his armpit licked.

Beavis: Whoa! That chick would punch.
Butt-head: Uh...I think that was a dude, Beavis.
Beavis: No way, Butt-head! That's a chick! It's one of those girl boxers. That's cool, they can kick ass. They get in the ring and bitchslap each other.
Butt-head: Beavis, that's not a chick, that's a dude.
Beavis: No it's not! You said it's an all girl band. It's like they get an all girl band, they get a boxer. [The boxer is punched to the ground] Whoa! Look at the nads on that boxer.
Butt-head: Beavis, chicks don't have nads. How many times to I have to tell you that?
Beavis: I know that, Butt-head! I just thought, you know, maybe they like, put them on because she was fighting. Like, clip-on nads?
Butt-head: You're a damn weirdo, Beavis. And you're stupid too.
Beavis: Shut up!
Butt-head: And chicks don't like you.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Some chicks like me!
The Go-Go's, The Whole World Lost It's Head

Beavis: Whoa! This looks like it might rock.
Butt-head: Yeah, maybe.
Beavis: Yeah. I mean, I dunno, maybe it's alright. I guess it sounds kinda cool.