Beavis: Whoa, a toilet! Cool!
Butt-head: Yeah. Toilets are cool. They figured, like, since this song was getting wimpy right there, they'd like, just, throw a toilet out.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! I think it helped. I-I wonder if there's a turd inside it?
Butt-head: That's a good question, Beavis. I wondered that myself.

Beavis: Whoa, Butt-head! Butt-head, look at that up there! You can see something, look!
Butt-head: Yeah. There's a lot of butt wigglin' and butt snappin' and like, people sticking their butts out.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. This is what we need!
Butt-head: And then it's like, this guy's goin' around stickin' his butt out goin': "Jam it in and screw i-uuuuuuuuut! Do the ultra twee-uuuusssssst!"
Beavis: Boy, this is some nasty stuff.
Butt-head: These guys understand the importance of a good butt.
Crowbar, All I Had (I Gave)

Beavis: Whoa, Butt-head, I just saw a girl's butt!
Butt-head: There's a lot of chick's butts in here, Beavis.
Beavis: No, I mean she was naked!
Butt-head: You're not allowed to show a naked butt on TV!
Beavis: Well, it looked like she was naked. And it was pretty cool.
Primus, DMV

Beavis: Whoa, Butt-head, that's your Uncle Jack!
Butt-head: No it's not.
Beavis: Yeah it is! Hey Jack, how's it goin'? That was him!
Butt-head: No it wasn't, Beavis! He's alot fatter than that.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, that must've been him 'cause he was comin' outta, like, one of those, uh, naked places.
Butt-head: Oh yeah! I think that was him!

Beavis: Whoa, check it out Butt-head, Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots. Kick 'em in the nads!
Butt-head: Robots don't have nads, dumb ass!
Beavis: Mine do. I glued 'em on. I put nads on all my action figures. I use, like, beadies and raisins and stuff.
Butt-head: That's disgusting, Beavis!
Primus, My Name is Mud

Beavis: Whoa, check it out! It's Jon Stewart.
Butt-head: Yeah. He's horny.
Beavis: Yeah. It's like, he's the horniest talk show dude on TV.
Butt-head: Yeah, but it's like, he shouldn't try to be in a band like this.
Beavis: Yeah, I mean this is okay, you know, it's nothing special though. He should just do his TV show.
Butt-head: Yeah, but you know what he should do? He should get rid of all that other stuff on his show, and just have the whole show be like, him trying to pick up a chick.
Beavis: Yeah, like he would bring out a chick with big hooters, maybe like this one right here, and he just sits there and tries to score. That would be cool.
Butt-head: Yeah. That would rule!

Beavis: Whoa, check it out! It's Paula Abdula!
Butt-head: Yeah. This is like, every outfit she's ever had in a video.
Beavis: Oh yeah.

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, Butt-head! How did that dude get all those chicks?
Butt-head: 'Cause, dumbass, his name is Schlong.
Beavis: Oh yeah! Cheech & Schlong. I forgot about that. You know what? Cheech should change his name to Buttcheeks, and then it's like, Buttcheeks & Schlong.
Butt-head: Uh...I don't think you'd get chicks with a name like Buttcheeks, Beavis.
Beavis: Um...oh. That was my nickname when I was a kid--Buttcheeks.
Butt-head: Uh...oh yeah.
Chick, Malibu

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, Butt-head! There's a chick back there in the window; I think she's naked!
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis! No she's not!
Beavis: Oh, OK.

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, Butt-head, it's Velvet Jones!
Butt-head: Oh yeah. He's cool. [imitates Eddie Murphy] Hi! I'm Velvet Jones.
Beavis: Yeah , yeah. [also impersonating Eddie Murphy] Hah! Ah'm Vevvet Jones! Dis is mah book, "How to Be a Ho"! [normal voice] Yeah, it's about time someone put him in a video!

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, he has an eyeball in his mouth.
Butt-head: That would be cool if you had, like, an eyeball in your butt. And then you could like, uh-
Beavis: Ah, shut up, Butt-head, you always say stuff like that.
Butt-head: Beavis, I'm gonna shove your eyeballs up your butt sideways if you ever tell me to shut up again.
Beavis: Heh, oh oh yeah.

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, he's sleeping with a pig!
Butt-head: Yeah, so what, Beavis?
Beavis: I'm just trying to make conversation! Bunghole!
Butt-head: Well why don't you make it somewhere else, bungwipe?

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, it's Cousin Itt!
Butt-head: Yeah.
Beavis: [jabbers like Cousin Itt]
[seeing what appears to be two men using a welding torch on a taller man's rectum]

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, it's Don Henley! I didn't know he was a wuss!
Butt-head: You didn't? Where have you been, Beavis? He's a total wuss!
Beavis: Really?
Butt-head: Yeah. Any time you see a dude on TV and he's like, trying to save some forest or something, it means he's a total wussy.
Beavis: Really? Let me see...Sting, yeah, he's a wuss.
Butt-head: Mm-hm.
Beavis: Let's see, uh, who else...Ted Danson, yeah, he's a wussy.
Butt-head: And don't forget Jackson Browne.

Beavis: Whoa, check it out, it's Mrs. Doubt-FIRE!
Butt-head: Oh yeah.
Beavis: I don't think that guy's very funny.
Butt-head: Yeah. It's like, he tries to talk really fast, so you won't notice that he's not very funny.
Beavis: I think he was funny, like, a long time ago, when it was, like, really fast.
Megadeth, Sweating Bullets