Beavis: What is this accent he's talking in?
Butt-head: Dumbass, it's foreign!
Beavis: Oh yeah.
[Beavis humps the couch whilst Butt-head looks at him in shock]

Beavis: What is this?
Butt-head: It's the Scatman.
Beavis: Oh yeah. They should have a name for this kind of music.
Butt-head: There already is a name for this music, Beavis. It's called crap.
Beavis: They oughta have, you know, a crap section in the record store.
Butt-head: Yeah. It should be out in the dumpster.
Beavis: No way, Butt-head. There's cool stuff in the dumpster. You wouldn't wanna mess it up with this crap.

Beavis: What is this?
Butt-head: Uh ... is this cable access?
Beavis: Yeah, I think it is. Cable access sucks!
Butt-head: They should call it cable suckcess.
Beavis Yeah, cable suckcess.

Beavis: What language is this?
Butt-head: Uh...I think it's like...French.
Beavis: Really?
Butt-head: Or Mexican, or something.
Beavis: I can sing in French; check this out. [Beavis sings in a fake Japanese accent; the only coherent words are "taco supremo]
Butt-head: That was pretty good, Beavis! You sound just like those dudes.

Beavis: What's happening to this dude's face?
Butt-head: Uhh, I think he's like, changing expressions and stuff.
Beavis: Really? That's dumb.
Butt-head: It's like, you really only need, like, three expressions or something. Like one expression for when you're trying to pick up on a chick.
Beavis: When I'm trying to pick up on a chick, I usually look like this. [Beavis' face is in his neutral expression]
Butt-head: Yeah. I usually use this expression. [Butt-head grimaces] And then, like, you need an expression for when you're lying.
Beavis: I usually use this one when I'm lying. [Beavis' face is once again in neutral] And then you have and expression for when, like, you're taking a dump.
Butt-head: This one usually works for me. [Butt-head grimaces]
Beavis: I usually use this one. [Beavis' face is once again in neutral]
Butt-head: That's a pretty good one, Beavis.
Hole, Violet

Beavis: What's he doing? He was, like, shaking his hips back and forth like a little wussy.
Butt-head: Yeah. That little dance isn't very cool.
deadmau5 feat. Rob Swire, Ghosts 'n' Stuff

Beavis: What's this?
Butt-head: You should know, buttmunch. This is Metallica.
Beavis: Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, YEAH!!!

Beavis: Whenever I go to birthday parties, I like to just, like, tear open presents and break stuff, and just run around and go: "RAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"
Butt-head: Beavis, you've never been invited to a party in your life!
Beavis: Yeah I did, remember at Stewart's party? We were, like, playing hide and seek, and I like, [laughing] climbed in the dryer, and took a poop!
Butt-head: Yeah! I bet his mom was surprised to find that present!

Beavis: Where's the bratwurst?

Beavis: Who are these guys, anyway?
Butt-head: Uh, the Lordz of Brooklyn.
Beavis: I thought there was only one Lord. That's what they said in Sunday school.
Butt-head: You're thinking of, like, outer space, Beavis. That's where the lord lives.
G. Love & Special Sauce, Cold Beverage

Beavis: Who are these little guys?
Butt-head: Uh, I think these are like the Seminiferous Nadclobial Buttnoids?
Beavis: Oh yeah, the Seminiferous Buttcloids from outer space. Yeah, yeah that's what they are.
Butt-head: They're gonna climb inside his mouth and walk down to his wiener!
Beavis: Yeah, this is gonna be cool. Y'know if, um, if those Seminiferous Nadial Globial Buttnoids had to walk down my mouth and like, all the way down to my wiener, that would be a long walk! Know what I'm saying? Y'know?
Butt-head: Yeah. And then they'd probably get lost and come out your bunghole.
Beavis: Yeah, and then I could poop 'em out! Poop!
Butt-head: Remember that time your mom's cat ate all that string? And then for like a week he had, like, poop on a rope.
Beavis: Oh yeah, that was cool! It was like sausage links! That ruled.
Blues Traveler, Run Around

Beavis: Who do that? Hello, dammit! Nobody here, dammit! Bunghole! Ooh yeah, that worked pretty good, yeah.

Beavis: Who is this chick?
Butt-head: Uh...I don't know. She looks like some chick you'd see hanging out in K-Mart.
Beavis: Um...I think I've seen this chick before.
Butt-head: Yeah. She did Prince.
Beavis: Oh, really? Well, at least that's something.

Beavis: Who is this fartknocker, anyway?
Butt-head: He's like, one of those dudes from the gifted class.
Beavis: Those guys always, like, write words like this.
Butt-head: Yeah, really. "The sails climb high in the garbage pail sky." That's stupid.
Beavis: How come people in the gifted class are always stupid?
Butt-head: Uhh...hmm. I dunno.

Beavis: Who is this?
Butt-head: Uh...is this that Toyota Jackson chick?
Beavis: Yeah, it's like...it's Toyota Jackson dressed up like Wonder Woman.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. [reacting to video] ...Oh no.
Beavis: Yeah. No! NO!
Hall & Oates, Jingle Bell Rock