(Alasdair, Alanis, Adam and Kai are partying in the living room and having a wonderful time, when they hear their parents' voices outside the door.)
Mrs. Prevert: Children! We're home from the convention!
Mr. Prevert: Hi kids!
Alasdair: Oh no! We weren't supposed to be having a party! Quick, clean up!
Adam: They'll kill us!
(The children frantically begin trying to clean up the messy living room, but don't get far when the door opens and Mom and Dad enter.)
Mr. Prevert: (sees mess) HEY! Whaaaat's been goin' on here?!
Adam: Well...
Alasdair: Some... some... some bunch of burglars broke in here and tied us all up, and then they went really wild and crazy and had a party!
Kai: And... and you should have seen the Pin the Tail on the Donkey game! It was terrible!
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, no! Are you kids all right?
Alasdair: Well, we're kind of in shock right now.
Mr. Prevert: Okay, listen - I am gonna call the police.
Alanis: Dad, don't be too hard on them, you know, just because they didn't clean up the place.
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, don't you worry, Alanis. Those burglars are going to get their just deserts. You see (holds up fish bone), those burglars ate some salmon that was contaminated with food poisoning, and they are all going to be very sick any minute now.
(The kids immediately get sick and begin to throw up.)

(Doug, the paperboy, walks up to the Preverts' front step to collect his fee. Mr. and Mrs. Prevert, who have spots all over their faces, are holding a sign that says "QUARANTINE.")
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, keep away, little boy! It isn't safe!
Doug: What is this?!
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, young man, we're under quarantine, can't you see? You have to stay away.
Doug: Listen lady, I don't care if you're under quarantine. I've come to get the money for the paper, and I'm gonna get it, you know.
Mr. Prevert: Hey kid, we'd love to pay ya. Can't you read, we're under quarantine! We have got "spotted faaaaaaaceatosis"! You catch it and you die! I'm sorry!
Doug: (scared) Oh, well that's okay then. Maybe I'll come back next week, and - and - and I'll get my money then, okay? (runs off quickly, leaving his bag of papers behind)
Mr./Mrs. Prevert: Bye!
Mr. Prevert: Nice boy.
Mrs. Prevert: Oh Lance, this quarantine idea of yours is sheer genius! (begins to rub some of the spots off her face, revealing the spots to be only ink) Ever since we pretended we had "spotted faceatosis," well, we've saved all kinds of money! My goodness, we haven't had to pay the milkman, the vacuum cleaner repairman, the car salesman, it's wonderful. You're a genius.
Mr. Prevert: Genius? Valerie, I really have got spotted faaaaaceatosis. I think you've got it too.
Mrs. Prevert: What?
Mr. Prevert: (pointing to a spot on Valerie's nose) That one ain't gonna come off.

(Vanessa and Doug are playing cards as Valerie enters)
Vanessa: I'm in luck! Three sevens, Dougie! I won! Peel.
Valerie: (gasping) Children! I would be horrified that you would be playing like strip poker! It's immoral!
Doug: No, mom, not strip poker, food poker. (He peels a banana.)
Valerie: Oh. I've never head of food poker. I'm sorry, Dougie. I don't know what I was thinking of.
Doug: By the way, mom, what is strip poker?
Valerie: Never you mind, young man. Just eat that banana.
Vanessa: Hey, Dougie, wanna play another hand, double or nothing?

[A door-to-door saleswoman (Alanis) walks up to the Preverts' front door and rings the bell. Mrs. Prevert answers, her red hair in curlers.]
Mrs. Prevert: Yes, dear?
Alanis: Ravon Calling! Good morning or afternoon, sir or madam, as the case may be. As advertised on television, we would like to offer you a beauty program that will leave you looking years younger. Try our new beauty cream absolutely free of charge.
Mrs. Prevert: Oh, I certainly will! Oh!
[Mrs. Prevert excitedly rubs some of the cream on her cheeks. A puff of smoke, and she is transformed into a little girl.]
Young Mrs. Prevert: (Stephanie) Wow, it really works! I feel years younger!
[Young Mrs. Prevert excitedly reaches for more cream.]
Alanis: No, don't take any more... I wouldn't recommend it...
[Mrs. Prevert rubs more cream on her cheeks anyway. Another puff of smoke, and she is transformed into an infant (doll).]
Alanis: (Picking up Mrs. Prevert) The manual never said anything about this!

[Alasdair Gillis, Doug Ptolemy and Robert Enns are seated on the bench in their football uniforms, furiously scratching their itchy feet.]
Robert: This itching is driving me crazy!
Alasdair: Me too. I wish there were something we could do to get rid of it.
[Enter the Coach, carrying a can of foot powder.]
Coach: Itch no more! He-Man Foot Powder is here! It'll not only cure the itch, but your feet will smell like a rose.
Doug: Just what we've been looking for!
[The boys excitedly sprinkle the powder on their feet.]
Alasdair: OW! This kills!
Coach: But has the itching stopped?
Robert: Yes, the itching has stopped, but now our feet hurt from the thorns!
Coach: And they smell like roses! [To the camera] He-Man Foot Spray! Ya can't take it, yer not a man!
(The boys begin to cry and wail.)

[In the kitchen, Mrs. Prevert is standing on a chair and screaming.]
Adam: What's the matter, Mom, why are you screaming?
Mrs. Prevert: I'm screaming because of the beatles!
Adam: I know the Beatles were a great rock group, and people used to scream at their concerts, but that was a long time ago! Besides, you're not playing any of their music.
Mrs. Prevert: No, I'm not screaming because of those Beatles, I'm screaming because of those beatles! (points at some real beetles on the floor. Adam screams and gets on the chair as well.)

[Mrs. Prevert has taken the soap out of Doug's Mouth.]
Mrs. Prevert: Young man, I certainly hope that washing your mouth off with this soap has taught you about using that kind of language.
Doug: I'm gonna be using that kind of language more from now on.
Mrs. Prevert: WHAT?! Didn't this teach you a lesson?
Doug': It sure did.
Mrs. Prevert: What's that?
Doug: I love the taste of soap, it's fabulous.
[Mrs. Prevert screams as Doug bites more of the soap.]

[The kids have just decided to form a band to back Alasdair when he goes out touring.]
Alasdair: Okay, what do we call (the band)?
Stephanie: Beats me.
Alasdair: No, I don't really like the sound of that. Adam, do you have any ideas?
Adam: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Alasdair: No, no, Adam, that's too intellectual. Alanis, you must have a good idea?
Alanis: I don't know.
[Alanis is slimed.]
Alanis: [angrily] Alasdair, you did that on PURPOSE! Now I will hate you.
Alasdair: No! Alanis, no, really, it didn't have anything to do with me. I just forgot to tell you that on this show you can't say "I don't know," or you'll get slimed---
[Alasdair is also slimed.]
Adam: Wait a minute, I've got a great idea! Why don't we call our group the Green Slimes? [shaking Alasdair's hand] Put 'er there, buddy!
Alasdair: Swell. [to Alanis] You okay?
[Alanis, grimacing, digs a handful of slime out of her shirt pocket and drops it on the floor.]

[Vanessa and Christine are lost in the woods.]
Vanessa: I'm starving! Are these berries edible?
Christine: Vanessa, those are gooseberries. Of course they're edible. They're full of Protein and Vitamin A.
Vanessa: Boy, I sure am glad I got stuck in the woods with an expert like you!
[Vanessa eats some of the berries, and then a few seconds later gasps, clutches her throat, and falls over dead.]
Christine: [Laughing] Of course, silly me! I should have noticed the deep red coloring sooner. This is obviously Deadly Nightshade! Highly poisonous. Boy, do I feel dumb.