The Muppet Show quotes
172 total quotesKermit: I can't tell you what a thrill it is to have you on this show.
Jaye P.: Oh, thank you, Kermit. Nice of you to say so. I'd like to say I'm really indifferent about being here.
Jaye P.: Oh, thank you, Kermit. Nice of you to say so. I'd like to say I'm really indifferent about being here.
Kermit: I just want to know more about this wedding sketch, I mean. I've got to learn my lines, Piggy.
Miss Piggy: Well.. you only have one line.
Kermit: I do?
Miss Piggy: Exactly.
Miss Piggy: Well.. you only have one line.
Kermit: I do?
Miss Piggy: Exactly.
Kermit: I mean, you know, if you can afford to pay off the audience, and buy all those flowers, and the fur, and the mail, and all that stuff...
Kermit: I'm sorry, but we don't allow any reporters backstage during the show.
Fleet: What a headline! Muppets' Bad Press: Reporter Thrown Out By A Frog!
Kermit: Now, wait! On the other hand, can I offer you a cup of coffee?
Fleet: What a headline! Frog Bribes Reporter: Muppets Desperate For Publicity!
Fleet: What a headline! Muppets' Bad Press: Reporter Thrown Out By A Frog!
Kermit: Now, wait! On the other hand, can I offer you a cup of coffee?
Fleet: What a headline! Frog Bribes Reporter: Muppets Desperate For Publicity!
Kermit: Listen, it's very healthy to see what other people in the field are doing. And it is an enriching experience.
Fozzie: Yeah.
Kermit: Hey, Scooter, what's next?
Scooter: Oh, it's a guy named Lenny the Lizard. And he's an emcee.
Kermit: What the hey?
Fozzie: Yeah.
Kermit: Hey, Scooter, what's next?
Scooter: Oh, it's a guy named Lenny the Lizard. And he's an emcee.
Kermit: What the hey?
Kermit: Okay, okay, good bit, good bit, good ending, and sorry about the head.
Kermit: That was great! And, you are just wonderful, Valerie! I tell you, you are going out on that stage a star, but you are gonna be coming back a chorus girl, right?
Kermit: Uh, Gonzo, that is terrible! I'm not going to introduce you for a crummy act like that!
Gonzo: Sick 'em!
...
Kermit: O.K! O.K! O.K! O.K! I'll introduce him.
Chicken: Meow!!
Kermit: Ungh! And now, here he is, ladies and gentlemen, uh, your one and you're welcome to him, Gonzo the Great! Off, off, off, off, off!!
Gonzo: Sick 'em!
...
Kermit: O.K! O.K! O.K! O.K! I'll introduce him.
Chicken: Meow!!
Kermit: Ungh! And now, here he is, ladies and gentlemen, uh, your one and you're welcome to him, Gonzo the Great! Off, off, off, off, off!!
Kermit: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Switzerland has given us some watches, some chocolate, and some silliness. And, we take you now to the Alps for the latter.
Kermit: Well, Piggy, sometimes, the truth hurts.
Miss Piggy: Hurt? I'll show you hurt, Kermie!
Miss Piggy: Hurt? I'll show you hurt, Kermie!
Kermit: What's all this smoke?
Fozzie: Uh... that is not smoke.
Kermit: It is not smoke? Then what is it?
Fozzie: It's jet exhaust.
Kermit: Jet exhaust?
Fozzie: Oh, look out! Here comes another one!
Fozzie: Uh... that is not smoke.
Kermit: It is not smoke? Then what is it?
Fozzie: It's jet exhaust.
Kermit: Jet exhaust?
Fozzie: Oh, look out! Here comes another one!
Kermit: You have to treat the chickens pretty well, because they've got a very tough union.
Kermit: Your salary is 20 a week.
Scooter: Could you make it 25?
Kermit: Are you kidding? I can't afford it!
Scooter: Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.
Kermit: How about 30?
Scooter: Could you make it 25?
Kermit: Are you kidding? I can't afford it!
Scooter: Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.
Kermit: How about 30?
Lesley: You know, Kermit, I thought you were the only person on this show who wasn't crazy.
Kermit: Me, not crazy? I hired the others.
Kermit: Me, not crazy? I hired the others.
Link Hogthrob: At least we could have brought a TV set. I'm missing all of my favorite bowling shows.
Piggy: You and your bowling shows! He cries at the sad parts.
Piggy: You and your bowling shows! He cries at the sad parts.