The Muppet Show quotes
172 total quotesLink Hogthrob: First Mate Miss Piggy.
Fozzie: Er, yes, sir!
Link: Did you shave this morning?
Fozzie: Er, yes, sir!
Link: Did you shave this morning?
Milton Berle: I just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Miss Piggy: [giving Ethel roses] Miss Merman, from all of us, to you.
Ethel: Oh, how kind of you, Miss Piggy...they won't explode, will they?
Ethel: Oh, how kind of you, Miss Piggy...they won't explode, will they?
Miss Piggy: Kermit, dear, did you know that every time we have a beautiful girl on this show, you forget about me?
Kermit: Yeah, well, we could have a seal act on this show, Piggy, and I might forget about you.
Kermit: Yeah, well, we could have a seal act on this show, Piggy, and I might forget about you.
Miss Piggy: You know, I really like the water.
Kermit: Oh, I am glad.
Miss Piggy: Which means, after we're married, we can live at your place.
Kermit: Oh, I am glad.
Miss Piggy: Which means, after we're married, we can live at your place.
Nurse Piggy: It's too late, Dr. Bob. We've lost him.
Doctor Bob: Well, he couldn't have gone so far. He was under the sheet just a second ago.
Doctor Bob: Well, he couldn't have gone so far. He was under the sheet just a second ago.
Parrot: You don't love me any more.
John: Of course I love you. I'm working now!
Parrot: And you're making a lousy job of it.
John: [pulling a gun] You wanna be an ex-parrot?
John: Of course I love you. I'm working now!
Parrot: And you're making a lousy job of it.
John: [pulling a gun] You wanna be an ex-parrot?
Robot Kermit: Hey, listen, how about you, and me getting together, and making some steam heat. Huh, snuggle bunny?
Miss Piggy: Snuggle bunnny? Why, uh...
Robot Kermit: Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Ah, a marriage made in heaven! A frog and a pig. And we can have bouncing baby figs!
Miss Piggy: Snuggle bunnny? Why, uh...
Robot Kermit: Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Ah, a marriage made in heaven! A frog and a pig. And we can have bouncing baby figs!
Rowlf the Dog: You think that's bad? For the first three months of my life there was a newspaper strike!
Sam the Eagle [approaches the podium for the announcement]: I just wanted to know that following that last piece of material, I am disassociating myself from this whole, weird, SICK show! [to somebody] What do I do? [leaves the podium]
Sam the Eagle: If you are like me, and you certainly must be, you are appalled and shocked at the weird, unnatural things going on tonight.
Scooter: [to the stage hands in the rafters] Hey, somebody kill that light!
[Machine gun fire is heard as he turns his back. At the same time that a spotlight drops down, Scooter turns behind him in surprise]
[Machine gun fire is heard as he turns his back. At the same time that a spotlight drops down, Scooter turns behind him in surprise]
Scooter: I � I was just in my star's dressing room, and I saw the most ghoulish, fiendish-looking face in the closet!
Hilda: That was me, clown! And I was hanging up the wardrobe.
Hilda: That was me, clown! And I was hanging up the wardrobe.
Scooter: Oh, what's this?
Fozzie: [in disguise] What does it look it like, small boy I have never seen before?
Fozzie: [in disguise] What does it look it like, small boy I have never seen before?