The Muppet Show quotes

172 total quotes



All Seasons
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- What's that got to do with what we just heard?
- Nothing, just thought I'd mention it.
- That number scared the pants off of me.

- What's that?
- A television you can turn off!
- You know, I love French singers.

- What's that?
- Why did they do it?
- I think honesty's always the best policy.

- What, the celebration?
- No, the end!

- What?
- It ends.
- Ah, there's nothing like grand opera.

- Why not? They were also responsible for the Bubonic Plague!
- South Dakota!

- Why you old fool! I'm not your son and my name's not Shine!
- What's wrong with you?

- Why? Because the jokes get better?
- No, because my hearing gets worse!
- Why do we always come here?

- Why? Can't you see anything?
- That's the problem. I can see everything.
- This show is awful!

- Yeah, and with any luck, I'll never see anything like that again!
- You know, this is my favorite part of the show.

- Yeah, but it sure got wounded pretty bad tonight.
- Fantastic, incredible, they remind me a lot of puppets.

- Yeah, like comedy maybe!
- That was a great number, I've always liked pantomime.

- Yeah. I can think of some other people I'd rather see leave this show.
- Who?
- Me!
- What do you suppose they call that? A novelty act?

- Yes. Choosing what show to be on.
- That was a great number, I don't care what you say.

- Yes. It'll drive people to read books.
- Pay up. They made it through another one.