Rudy: Sondra, promise you won't get mad.
Sondra: What did you do?
Rudy: I spilled nail polish.
Sondra: Okay. We'll go clean it up.
Rudy: In your suitcase.

Rudy: Sondra, promise you won't get mad.
Sondra: What did you do?
Rudy: I spilled nail polish.
Sondra: Okay. We'll go clean it up.
Rudy: In your suitcase.

Russell: I've been to Europe and I didn't care for it.
Cliff: Yeah, but it was 1943 and you were running alongside of a tank.

Russell: I've been to Europe and I didn't care for it.
Cliff: Yeah, but it was 1943 and you were running alongside of a tank.

Sondra: Every time he goes out with the guys, he expects me to sit and wait for him, his plans are always more important than mine!
Cliff: Why do you keep going back to this boy?
Sondra: Dad, because he's wonderful! He's intelligent, he has a good sense of humor, and we have a great time together.
Cliff: When? [Claire smacks him]
Sondra: When we're not fighting.
Claire: Well when is that? [Cliff smacks Claire]

Sondra: Every time he goes out with the guys, he expects me to sit and wait for him, his plans are always more important than mine!
Cliff: Why do you keep going back to this boy?
Sondra: Dad, because he's wonderful! He's intelligent, he has a good sense of humor, and we have a great time together.
Cliff: When? [Claire smacks him]
Sondra: When we're not fighting.
Claire: Well when is that? [Cliff smacks Claire]

Sondra: We thought it would be nice if we cooked the meal for Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary.
Theo: And I'm sure you girls will do a great job.
Sondra: Theo, I mean all of us.
Theo: I don't cook.
Clair: Maybe you should learn.
Theo: Why?
Clair: Theo, you're going to leave this house one day and you're going to want to eat.
Theo: I'll have my girlfriend cook!
Clair: Now where are you getting this attitude from?
Theo: Cockroach.
Clair, Vanessa, and Sondra: Ohhh Cockroach.
Theo: You see, we decided, we're only going to date girls who cook.
Sondra: Theo, the women of today have better things to do than to stay in the kitchen.
Theo: That's because the women of today haven't met the man of tomorrow.

Sondra: We thought it would be nice if we cooked the meal for Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary.
Theo: And I'm sure you girls will do a great job.
Sondra: Theo, I mean all of us.
Theo: I don't cook.
Clair: Maybe you should learn.
Theo: Why?
Clair: Theo, you're going to leave this house one day and you're going to want to eat.
Theo: I'll have my girlfriend cook!
Clair: Now where are you getting this attitude from?
Theo: Cockroach.
Clair, Vanessa, and Sondra: Ohhh Cockroach.
Theo: You see, we decided, we're only going to date girls who cook.
Sondra: Theo, the women of today have better things to do than to stay in the kitchen.
Theo: That's because the women of today haven't met the man of tomorrow.

Stevie Wonder: Vanessa, that's a pretty name.
Vanessa: Thank you, Sir.
Stevie Wonder: You're welcome, Madam.

Stevie Wonder: Vanessa, that's a pretty name.
Vanessa: Thank you, Sir.
Stevie Wonder: You're welcome, Madam.

Theo: Dad, can I have an advance on my allowance?
Cliff: I'm sorry son, you're already backed up to your 50th birthday.

Theo: Dad, can I have an advance on my allowance?
Cliff: I'm sorry son, you're already backed up to your 50th birthday.

Theo: It's important for a young, available man to have wheels.
Denise: Why is that?
Theo: Because he who walks, walks alone.

Theo: It's important for a young, available man to have wheels.
Denise: Why is that?
Theo: Because he who walks, walks alone.

Theo: Jammin' on the one.