Clair: Cliff, do you want to be 19 again?
Cliff: Only if you'll be 19 with me.
Clair: Sure.
Cliff: And the kids can be 49.

Clair: Denise, deep down, you know you can pretty much do anything you want because you know we're always there to bail you out. You see, we're your safety net. We're so good at it, half the time you don't even know we're doing it. And, your father and I accept that responsibility because we're your parents. And, you'd better not ever forget that, young lady. Because if you EVER take THIS attitude with us again, you can take whatever is in that bank account of yours and go DISCOVER America!

Clair: Denise, deep down, you know you can pretty much do anything you want because you know we're always there to bail you out. You see, we're your safety net. We're so good at it, half the time you don't even know we're doing it. And, your father and I accept that responsibility because we're your parents. And, you'd better not ever forget that, young lady. Because if you EVER take THIS attitude with us again, you can take whatever is in that bank account of yours and go DISCOVER America!

Clair: Don't remember ONE thing about that night! I am going to burn this sweater!
Cliff: You don't have to burn anything, I told you, I don't have to remember everything, I remember the important things. Ask me another question.
Clair: What was playing on the car radio when you proposed?
Cliff: When I proposed? On the car radio? Ray Charles, I Can't Stop Loving You, 1962, sold 14 million copies!
Clair: [lovingly] Cliff-
Cliff: Now deal with that!

Clair: Don't remember ONE thing about that night! I am going to burn this sweater!
Cliff: You don't have to burn anything, I told you, I don't have to remember everything, I remember the important things. Ask me another question.
Clair: What was playing on the car radio when you proposed?
Cliff: When I proposed? On the car radio? Ray Charles, I Can't Stop Loving You, 1962, sold 14 million copies!
Clair: [lovingly] Cliff-
Cliff: Now deal with that!

Clair: I bet I know what she wants. She wants to borrow your car.
Cliff: No, I think she want's to borrow your car.
Clair: I don't think so.
Cliff: Why?
Clair: Because my car is a Station Wagon. Now when was the last time you saw a teenager driving a Station Wagon?
Cliff: I better hide my car.

Clair: I bet I know what she wants. She wants to borrow your car.
Cliff: No, I think she want's to borrow your car.
Clair: I don't think so.
Cliff: Why?
Clair: Because my car is a Station Wagon. Now when was the last time you saw a teenager driving a Station Wagon?
Cliff: I better hide my car.

Clair: I don't know what to say, but I know what to play.

Clair: I don't know what to say, but I know what to play.

Clair: I remember this guy named Jimmy Peterson. Now you see, Jimmy Peterson used to hang out at the city pool everyday, all summer long, and he was the finest thing there. And I knew that if I wanted to be his girlfriend, I had to get him to notice me. So, one day, I climbed the high-dive, which was something that only the absolute coolest girls did, because, see I knew he was gonna be watching.
Vanessa: What happened?
Clair: Well I got up on the high-dive, and I strutted out on that board to try and do the meanest swan dive in the history of swimming, got to the edge of the board, looked down and discovered why they call the high-dive, the high-dive. I stood there trembling, with Jimmy Peterson and everyone up there looking up at me!
Vanessa: What did you do?
Clair: I did the only thing I could do. I made everybody waiting on the ladder get off so I could get down! I walked past Jimmy Peterson, I was so embarrassed, I couldn't even look him in the face. I never spoke to him again! That's how I ended up with your father.

Clair: I remember this guy named Jimmy Peterson. Now you see, Jimmy Peterson used to hang out at the city pool everyday, all summer long, and he was the finest thing there. And I knew that if I wanted to be his girlfriend, I had to get him to notice me. So, one day, I climbed the high-dive, which was something that only the absolute coolest girls did, because, see I knew he was gonna be watching.
Vanessa: What happened?
Clair: Well I got up on the high-dive, and I strutted out on that board to try and do the meanest swan dive in the history of swimming, got to the edge of the board, looked down and discovered why they call the high-dive, the high-dive. I stood there trembling, with Jimmy Peterson and everyone up there looking up at me!
Vanessa: What did you do?
Clair: I did the only thing I could do. I made everybody waiting on the ladder get off so I could get down! I walked past Jimmy Peterson, I was so embarrassed, I couldn't even look him in the face. I never spoke to him again! That's how I ended up with your father.

Clair: It's your turn to wake the children. I woke them on the last day of school.
Cliff: That is nothing. All you did was stand out in the hall and shouted "Last day of school!!" and the children next door were jumping out of windows!

Clair: It's your turn to wake the children. I woke them on the last day of school.
Cliff: That is nothing. All you did was stand out in the hall and shouted "Last day of school!!" and the children next door were jumping out of windows!

Clair: Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.
Vanessa: Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.
Cliff: But not to the death!

Clair: Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.
Vanessa: Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.
Cliff: But not to the death!