The Cosby Show quotes

222 total quotes



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Cliff: The joy of a birthday, is finding out what the present is, before one gets it. And you know I always do.
Claire: Not this year.
Cliff: 'Not this year.' You say that every year, and every year, I find out. So what do you want to do, you want to tell me what it is now sweetie? Or do you want me to start working on the children?
Claire: You may work on whomever you please.
Cliff: Really?
Claire: But you're not going to find out anything.
Cliff: Let the games begin.

Cliff: The reason I came down here was, I've been thinking, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go look for a motorcycle. :Theo: Are you serious?!
Cliff: No.

Cliff: The reason I came down here was, I've been thinking, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go look for a motorcycle. :Theo: Are you serious?!
Cliff: No.

Cliff: Well, I believe that's the first time a Morehouse man has had nothing to say!
Dr. Morgan: Or come to a Hillman man for advice!

Cliff: Well, I believe that's the first time a Morehouse man has had nothing to say!
Dr. Morgan: Or come to a Hillman man for advice!

Cliff: What did I tell you about pushing your sister?
Vanessa: I'm just hurrying her along.
Cliff: That's fine, she's only 5 now, but she IS going to grow up and she MAY get into body building. And then she'll track you down and say "Remember all the times you used to push me around?" and clean your clock!

Cliff: What did I tell you about pushing your sister?
Vanessa: I'm just hurrying her along.
Cliff: That's fine, she's only 5 now, but she IS going to grow up and she MAY get into body building. And then she'll track you down and say "Remember all the times you used to push me around?" and clean your clock!

Cliff: What's the matter?
Rudy: I'm bored.
Cliff: You're bored? Well that's funny because I've got $3 million of books up in your room.

Cliff: What's the matter?
Rudy: I'm bored.
Cliff: You're bored? Well that's funny because I've got $3 million of books up in your room.

Cliff: Yes, the University of Life. I understand some of its graduates have gone on to move back home with their parents!

Cliff: Yes, the University of Life. I understand some of its graduates have gone on to move back home with their parents!

Cliff: You don't have time!
Darryl: Why not?
Cliff: Because he's coming!
Darryl: Who's coming?
Cliff: Elvin.
Darryl: Who's Elvin?
Cliff: Elvin is the fellow she likes.
Darryl: Oh. Then why am I here?
Cliff: Because you're the fellow I like!

Cliff: You don't have time!
Darryl: Why not?
Cliff: Because he's coming!
Darryl: Who's coming?
Cliff: Elvin.
Darryl: Who's Elvin?
Cliff: Elvin is the fellow she likes.
Darryl: Oh. Then why am I here?
Cliff: Because you're the fellow I like!

Cockroach: Why do I need math? When I get older, I'm gonna inherit my dad's scrap-iron business.
Cliff: You need math because you're gonna have to be able to count the pieces of metal as they come off the line.
Cockroach: We have a foreman who does that.
Cliff: Okay, you need math so you can count the money.
Cockroach: We have an accountant who does that.
Cliff: Then you're gonna be broke!
Cockroach: No way!
Cliff: If the foreman can count and the accountant can count and you can't, you're gonna be broke!

Cockroach: Why do I need math? When I get older, I'm gonna inherit my dad's scrap-iron business.
Cliff: You need math because you're gonna have to be able to count the pieces of metal as they come off the line.
Cockroach: We have a foreman who does that.
Cliff: Okay, you need math so you can count the money.
Cockroach: We have an accountant who does that.
Cliff: Then you're gonna be broke!
Cockroach: No way!
Cliff: If the foreman can count and the accountant can count and you can't, you're gonna be broke!