Claire: If I died, would you marry again?
Cliff: We'll talk about it when it happens.
Claire: We can't talk about it then!
Cliff: Okay, no. The answer is no. I wouldn't.
Claire: Under no circumstances, if I die, would you marry again. You would be single forever?
Cliff: Yes.
Claire: Would you date somebody?
Cliff: No. I wouldn't.
Claire: Okay, Cliff I'm dead. I'm gone.
Cliff: And you're still in the bed with me?

Claire: Make sure she stays in the bed, give her lots of liquids, and aspirin every four hours.
Cliff: I don't believe you! You're the only woman who went to law school and got a degree in medicine!

Claire: Make sure she stays in the bed, give her lots of liquids, and aspirin every four hours.
Cliff: I don't believe you! You're the only woman who went to law school and got a degree in medicine!

Claire: We are very fortunate to have the children, Cliff. Otherwise we would never know the joy of leaving them at home.

Claire: We are very fortunate to have the children, Cliff. Otherwise we would never know the joy of leaving them at home.

Cliff's Father: [about Theo] Where are you sending him?
Cliff: If he picks up his grades, high school.

Cliff's Father: [about Theo] Where are you sending him?
Cliff: If he picks up his grades, high school.

Cliff: [about Theo flirting with Denise's friend] The girl doesn't understand that the boy is fifteen years old. At fifteen the boy would hit on a snake.

Cliff: [about Theo flirting with Denise's friend] The girl doesn't understand that the boy is fifteen years old. At fifteen the boy would hit on a snake.

Cliff: [after a long screeched note on a clarinet is heard downstairs] Have we moved closer to the river?
[More sounds]
Theo: You think she's blowing through the right end?
[Even worse sounds]
Cliff: I think she just killed a goose.

Cliff: [after a long screeched note on a clarinet is heard downstairs] Have we moved closer to the river?
[More sounds]
Theo: You think she's blowing through the right end?
[Even worse sounds]
Cliff: I think she just killed a goose.

Cliff: [after Denise and Clair tell Theo what the real world is like] Your mother and your sister are absolutely correct. You see, we´re your family. We love you. We let you borrow money even you´re not qualified to pay it back. If you get out in the real world, it´s going to be different.
Theo: But when I get in the real world, I´m doing just fine, ´cause I´m gonna have a lot of money.
Cliff: I hope you´re not waiting for me to die.
Theo: No, I´m gonna earn it.
Cliff: How?
Theo: I´m going to be a model.
[Vanessa, Rudy and Cliff laugh at Theo]
Rudy: [seriously talks about Theo´s debt to her] I want my quarter now!

Cliff: [after Denise and Clair tell Theo what the real world is like] Your mother and your sister are absolutely correct. You see, we´re your family. We love you. We let you borrow money even you´re not qualified to pay it back. If you get out in the real world, it´s going to be different.
Theo: But when I get in the real world, I´m doing just fine, ´cause I´m gonna have a lot of money.
Cliff: I hope you´re not waiting for me to die.
Theo: No, I´m gonna earn it.
Cliff: How?
Theo: I´m going to be a model.
[Vanessa, Rudy and Cliff laugh at Theo]
Rudy: [seriously talks about Theo´s debt to her] I want my quarter now!

Cliff: [as the family gets ready to watch Rudy in a football game] All right, now everyone's in the car, come on.
Clair: If you don't mind, I think I'd rather stay here.
Cliff: But today, is your daughter's football debut! Today, we're going to watch the Gray Ghost gallop!
Clair: Cliff, I really don't think I can take this.
Cliff: Yeah but you said to me, when our son was going to play, you said 'Cliff, I think it's important that the father be down there to watch the boy.' Now I'm telling you, 'Claire I think it's important for the mother to go down and watch the daughter.' Now come on.
Clair: All right I'm gonna go, but I'm telling you right now. If anybody, ANYBODY at all, tries to hurt my baby, I'm gonna go out there and stop them.
Cliff: This is gonna be a wonderful game, see a mother running out on the field throwing somebody's child up in the stands.

Cliff: [as the family gets ready to watch Rudy in a football game] All right, now everyone's in the car, come on.
Clair: If you don't mind, I think I'd rather stay here.
Cliff: But today, is your daughter's football debut! Today, we're going to watch the Gray Ghost gallop!
Clair: Cliff, I really don't think I can take this.
Cliff: Yeah but you said to me, when our son was going to play, you said 'Cliff, I think it's important that the father be down there to watch the boy.' Now I'm telling you, 'Claire I think it's important for the mother to go down and watch the daughter.' Now come on.
Clair: All right I'm gonna go, but I'm telling you right now. If anybody, ANYBODY at all, tries to hurt my baby, I'm gonna go out there and stop them.
Cliff: This is gonna be a wonderful game, see a mother running out on the field throwing somebody's child up in the stands.