The Cosby Show quotes

222 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  



Theo: Jammin' on the one.

Theo: Jammin' on the one.

Theo: Robert, do you have any sisters?
Robert: No..
Theo: Well, go home tonight and thank your parents!

Theo: Robert, do you have any sisters?
Robert: No..
Theo: Well, go home tonight and thank your parents!

Vanessa:Okay, here we go. "The Reptile Family." Sort of a who's who of snakes. [chuckles and give the book to Cliff]
Cliff: Okay, here we are. [opens the book to the first page]
Rudy: [immediately points to the page] THAT'S IT! [short pause] That's it!
Cliff: [in disbelief] This is the snake? [Rudy nods] That's an anaconda. It lives in Brazil.
Vanessa: Rudy, it's 25 feet long and weighs 200 pounds!
Rudy: That's what I saw.
Cliff: I don't think this snake lives in the United States.
Rudy: It could come for a visit.

Vanessa:Okay, here we go. "The Reptile Family." Sort of a who's who of snakes. [chuckles and give the book to Cliff]
Cliff: Okay, here we are. [opens the book to the first page]
Rudy: [immediately points to the page] THAT'S IT! [short pause] That's it!
Cliff: [in disbelief] This is the snake? [Rudy nods] That's an anaconda. It lives in Brazil.
Vanessa: Rudy, it's 25 feet long and weighs 200 pounds!
Rudy: That's what I saw.
Cliff: I don't think this snake lives in the United States.
Rudy: It could come for a visit.

Vanessa: Dad can I talk to you for a minute?
Cliff: Sure.
Vanessa: Privately? It's about boys.
Rudy: Excuuuuuse me.

Vanessa: Dad can I talk to you for a minute?
Cliff: Sure.
Vanessa: Privately? It's about boys.
Rudy: Excuuuuuse me.

Vanessa: Did Denise decide on a college while we were gone?
Clair: About a dozen times.

Vanessa: Did Denise decide on a college while we were gone?
Clair: About a dozen times.

Vanessa: Theo is babysitting?!
Cliff: That's right.
Vanessa: But what if the house catches fire?
Cliff: Then Theo will call the fire department!
Vanessa: Well what if burglars break in?
Cliff: Then Theo will un-arm them!
Vanessa: Well what if they know karate?
Cliff: Then Theo will die!

Vanessa: Theo is babysitting?!
Cliff: That's right.
Vanessa: But what if the house catches fire?
Cliff: Then Theo will call the fire department!
Vanessa: Well what if burglars break in?
Cliff: Then Theo will un-arm them!
Vanessa: Well what if they know karate?
Cliff: Then Theo will die!

Vanessa: There is no fun in my life!
Cliff: As you get older, it gets worse.

Vanessa: There is no fun in my life!
Cliff: As you get older, it gets worse.

[Clair is playfully strangling Cliff, because he is having trouble recalling the night he proposed to her]
Denise: [enters] Hi dad.
Cliff: [rough voice] Oh, hi.
Clair: I'm just having a talk with your father.
Cliff: No no, see this woman is just trying to strangle me.
Denise: Well what did you do?
Cliff: I made a mistake, and I proposed to this wo- [Claire tightens her grip]