The Cosby Show quotes
222 total quotesElvin: My mother works and I don't like it. Sometimes I come home and there's no dinner ready.
Cliff: [laughing] What, are your hands broken?
Cliff: [laughing] What, are your hands broken?
Ernie: How much did you weigh in college?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Ernie: How much did you weigh in college?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: And how much do you weigh now?
Cliff: A hundred and sixty-five.
Ernie: With your clothes on!
Cliff: 206.
Ernie: Whoa!
Female Client: That's a wonderful thing you're doing for your wife!
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Female Client: That's a wonderful thing you're doing for your wife!
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Cliff: Thank you.
Client: How long you been married?
Cliff: 21 years.
Client: How many kids?
Cliff: Four at home and one in college.
Client: Five children and 21 years. What are you celebrating?
Cliff: Survival.
[Claire and Cliff have just gotten into bed, and the phone rings; Cliff answers]
Garvin: What are they laughing at?
Al: Us.
Cliff: They're laughing at what we are, and what you're going to be.
Garvin: What's that?
Cliff: A husband.
Al: I wonder how they'd feel if we all laughed at them.
Cliff: We can't.
Garvin: Why not?
Cliff: Because they're not funny.
Al: Us.
Cliff: They're laughing at what we are, and what you're going to be.
Garvin: What's that?
Cliff: A husband.
Al: I wonder how they'd feel if we all laughed at them.
Cliff: We can't.
Garvin: Why not?
Cliff: Because they're not funny.
Garvin: What are they laughing at?
Al: Us.
Cliff: They're laughing at what we are, and what you're going to be.
Garvin: What's that?
Cliff: A husband.
Al: I wonder how they'd feel if we all laughed at them.
Cliff: We can't.
Garvin: Why not?
Cliff: Because they're not funny.
Al: Us.
Cliff: They're laughing at what we are, and what you're going to be.
Garvin: What's that?
Cliff: A husband.
Al: I wonder how they'd feel if we all laughed at them.
Cliff: We can't.
Garvin: Why not?
Cliff: Because they're not funny.
Homer: You know, Russell, this reminds of the days when we used to go down to the baseball diamond.
Russell: Yeah, I remember those days..but, sometimes it would rain and we'd have to stay in the clubhouse.
Homer: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna lead with clubs!
Russell: Good play!
(Cliff plays his King, and Russell plays the Ace.)
Homer: You had the Ace?
Russell: Dr. Foster, if you'll throw your card, I can collect this trick!
Dr. Foster: That may be difficult to do, Mr. Huxtable Senior...since you threw your Ace in my face, I may have to bump your rump with my trump!
Russell: Yeah, I remember those days..but, sometimes it would rain and we'd have to stay in the clubhouse.
Homer: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna lead with clubs!
Russell: Good play!
(Cliff plays his King, and Russell plays the Ace.)
Homer: You had the Ace?
Russell: Dr. Foster, if you'll throw your card, I can collect this trick!
Dr. Foster: That may be difficult to do, Mr. Huxtable Senior...since you threw your Ace in my face, I may have to bump your rump with my trump!
Homer: You know, Russell, this reminds of the days when we used to go down to the baseball diamond.
Russell: Yeah, I remember those days..but, sometimes it would rain and we'd have to stay in the clubhouse.
Homer: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna lead with clubs!
Russell: Good play!
(Cliff plays his King, and Russell plays the Ace.)
Homer: You had the Ace?
Russell: Dr. Foster, if you'll throw your card, I can collect this trick!
Dr. Foster: That may be difficult to do, Mr. Huxtable Senior...since you threw your Ace in my face, I may have to bump your rump with my trump!
Russell: Yeah, I remember those days..but, sometimes it would rain and we'd have to stay in the clubhouse.
Homer: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna lead with clubs!
Russell: Good play!
(Cliff plays his King, and Russell plays the Ace.)
Homer: You had the Ace?
Russell: Dr. Foster, if you'll throw your card, I can collect this trick!
Dr. Foster: That may be difficult to do, Mr. Huxtable Senior...since you threw your Ace in my face, I may have to bump your rump with my trump!
Kim: Are you lost?
Rudy: I was with my brother and sister but I left cause they were stupid.
Rudy: I was with my brother and sister but I left cause they were stupid.
Kim: Are you lost?
Rudy: I was with my brother and sister but I left cause they were stupid.
Rudy: I was with my brother and sister but I left cause they were stupid.
Rudy: [yelling from upstairs] Daddy!! Did Mommy leave?
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!
Rudy: [yelling from upstairs] Daddy!! Did Mommy leave?
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!
Cliff: Yes. What do you want?
Rudy: Mommy!