Sean: [to Michelle] So interesting when the hooker becomes the pimp.

Sean: [trying to join in on a breast augmentation Christian is doing] Scoot over Christian, you don't get to have all the fun.
Christian: What are you doing here? Thought you'd cop a feel while she was under?
Sean: I just think that we should give Ms. Hudson the best treatment we can. Since I'm available, I figured I'd just make sure the operation goes as smoothly as possible.
Christian: Oh Jesus, you've gotta be kidding me. You pull this crap every time you're fragile little ego gets bruised.
Liz: Boys, boys, boys. This is why God gave women two breasts. Now each of you take one, and go play in your corner of the sandbox.

Sean: Are you a friend of Poppy's? You know, lesbian?
Elf: I've been known to dabble. But every now and then, Santa's helper enjoys a good North Pole, if you know what I mean!

Sean: At the moment, I'm grateful for every single surgery that's giving me the skill to make my son whole.

Sean: Burning sage supposedly cleanses the environment of bad events, bad memories. Like a divorce. Or if someone was shot in the head in the living room, that sort of thing.
[Edit]
Christian: [to the couple moving in] Hey, you guys might want to sage the nursery. His ex-wife screwed a dwarf in there.

Sean: Buy us? We are not for sale!
Christian: We are at this price. [Edit] This man eats paper planes and shits out space shuttles.

Sean: Christian, this is classic body dysmorphic disorder. Look at yourself at the mirror, you are a model of physical perfection.
Christian: I know, but I can be better. I know I can. Would you tell a millionaire to stop making money?!

Sean: I don't think it matters. Matt's fully cooked. It's too late to change the ingredients now.

Sean: I was in the neighborhood driving by and decided to see my partner. ...Why is there a statue of a cock in the living room?
Christian: It's abstract art, Sean.

Sean: I would have been there for you. If you'd just lost your wife and kids, I wouldn't be flying to Moscow with my fiancée over Christmas on an impulse!
Christian: We're not going anymore. We're staying put with Wilbur. Look, it's all so new, you know. We need to stay together as a family, to bond. You know what it's like.
Sean: Yeah, I know what it's like. I had a family once. You were part of it. Pretty stupid of me to think that I'd be a part of yours.

Sean: It's not the past I'm worried about, Christian, it's your future. Liars don't just pick a day to stop lying. And if you lay down with dogs, you're gonna wake up with fleas.

Sean: Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
Christian: Just start at your head and work your way down.
Liz: I just want a little lipo and maybe some work around the eyes.
Christian: Oh yeah, that ought to do it.
Liz: Shut up, Christian.

Sean: Where is Christian?
Liz: I'm sure his spirits are here, but his body is still in the tanning booth.

Sean: Why haven't you asked me about Monica? What I did, why I did it.
Julia: I know why you did it. The same reason that I had an affair with Marlowe.
Sean: I want to talk about it.
Julia: I already know all the answers. So do you.

[Christian and James at lunch together]
Christian: The jig is up, sweetheart. It's time to take your little whore and pony show to a different city. Michelle told me about your escort ring.
James: We haven't even ordered the wine yet, Dr. Troy. Shall we share a bottle of Pinot Noir? I know we both enjoy the darker varietals.