Sean: [to Christian] Fine. Raise Matt. I spent 17 years trying to corral your bad genetics. Let's see if you can do better.

Sean: [to Christian] I'm in awe of you, always have been.

Sean: [to Christian]] Have you ever had a baby that someone else didn't think was theirs?

Sean: [to Julia] Here's something that slipped through the crack. Some guy's cock in your boyfriend's ass!

Sean: [to Kimber, about Christian] Ms. Henry, I think you're confusing Dr. Troy's pleasant and very thorough bedside manner with real emotions.

Sean: [to Michelle] So interesting when the hooker becomes the pimp.

Sean: [trying to join in on a breast augmentation Christian is doing] Scoot over Christian, you don't get to have all the fun.
Christian: What are you doing here? Thought you'd cop a feel while she was under?
Sean: I just think that we should give Ms. Hudson the best treatment we can. Since I'm available, I figured I'd just make sure the operation goes as smoothly as possible.
Christian: Oh Jesus, you've gotta be kidding me. You pull this crap every time you're fragile little ego gets bruised.
Liz: Boys, boys, boys. This is why God gave women two breasts. Now each of you take one, and go play in your corner of the sandbox.

Sean: Actually I worked for Médecins Sans Frontières.
Christian: What?
Sean: Doctors without borders.
Christian: Oh yeah, yeah... I read about that in Time magazine. You fix some guy's cleft after walking into landmines. That kind of shit.

Sean: Agatha Ripp did at least have one point that makes sense. That Bible quote, "Watch out for false prophets, they come to you in sheep´s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves". That´s what the devil is, you know. Not some obvious Machiavellian figure with horns and a tail but a silent foe disguised as friend. Someone you trust, even love, whom you let into your life only to find out too late they´ve made a shambles of it.

Sean: Are you a friend of Poppy's? You know, lesbian?
Elf: I've been known to dabble. But every now and then, Santa's helper enjoys a good North Pole, if you know what I mean!

Sean: At the moment, I'm grateful for every single surgery that's giving me the skill to make my son whole.

Sean: Burning sage supposedly cleanses the environment of bad events, bad memories. Like a divorce. Or if someone was shot in the head in the living room, that sort of thing.
[Edit]
Christian: [to the couple moving in] Hey, you guys might want to sage the nursery. His ex-wife screwed a dwarf in there.

Sean: But she's a multiple personality.
Liz: Oh please! Who isn't? To my mother, I'm a child. To Jan, I'm a heartless, rejecting bitch. And to my dog, I'm God.
Sean: Maybe I should get a dog.

Sean: Buy us? We are not for sale!
Christian: We are at this price. [Edit] This man eats paper planes and shits out space shuttles.

Sean: Call me old fashioned, but I like a girl with a few flaws and a brain.
Christian: And look at where that got you!