Mr. Show quotes

217 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  



Alexis Jung, designer, and constant chum of Nostradamus (David): Buckle the fuck up!

Anthony "One Time" Branca (David): The both of youze can grab onto my books, mother-father, Chinese dentist.

Becky Thyre: Sorrow is the key that gets our tears out of eye jail.

Benjamin Franklin (David): Gentlemen, who would shit on a flag made out of shit? It would be an empty gesture.

Benjamin Gerard, ice cream purveyor (David): "Rock & Roll Double Chunk". It has chocolate in it, and we figure if people like Rock & Roll music, they'll like this, cause it says "Rock & Roll" on it.

Bob at 4 years old (unknown): Mommy, What's a Gagortion?

Bob Lamonta (David): I did grow a moustache, but I thought it made me look gay, so whoosh! [indicating its swift removal]

Bob Lamonta's father (Bob): I'm strong like the Hulk.

Bob Lamonta's father (Bob): My shoes hurt!

Bob/David: [chanting] Youth ... is truth! I wish "old" rhymed with "lies"!

Bob: ... the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee.
David: Let's hear it for the IBTC. They work hard!

Bob: Charity is when you do something for people while other people are watching.

Bob: David attended public schools, so he confuses Hitler with Anne Frank.

Bob: Hey, who wants a banana?

Bob: I liked Bananarama...you liked that Bangles shit.