Troy: [talking about the paintball competition] What's the prize?
Dean Pelton: It was a DVD Blu-Ray player but it was stolen, so now it's TBD.
Troy: I want TBD; is that new?
Pierce: if it's what I think I had it for a month in the seventies.

Troy: [watching the character based on him in Abed's films] Why am I crying? Did I accidentally listen to "Come Sail Away" by Styx again?

Troy: Can we make this quick? I have to give a banana to Annie's Boobs.

Troy: Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.

Troy: Hey, can I ask you something I've always wanted to ask the real Batman?
Abed: Yeah.
Troy: Am I good-looking?
Abed: You're a very attractive young man.
Troy: I knew it.

Troy: Hip, hop, body don't stop. Riverside got the broom, don't need a mop. Put your team in the box, put a ribbon on top, we're not John Kerry 'cause we don't flip-flop.
Annie: Troy, why are you doing our politically conservative high school's shamefully outdated fight rap?
. . .
Troy Barnes: Bing, bong, sing along. Your team's Al Gore 'cause your views are wrong.

Troy: How did you know my nickname was T-Bone?
Jeff: Because you're a football player, and your name begins with 'T'.

Troy: I liked you better when you were smoking.
Britta: I'm so sorry.
Troy: No, you're right. My feet are long and stupid. You can't unring that bell.

Troy: Jeff Winger, you son of a bitch. I thought you were dead, man!
Jeff: I was just taking a nap.

Troy: Jeff, Pierce took something, and he is tripping balls! He is touching people and dancing weird. It's like Grumpy Old Men, but not hilarious.

Troy: Say there are two friends, and they're in the same class, and one of them wants to ask the other one out on date. Like a grown up date, but within biking distance of his parents' house.
Annie: They could do something on campus. Tomorrow there's a picnic with live music on the East lawn. They're calling it 'A Night Under the Stars.'
Troy: Cool. I bet Randy would love that type of thing.
Annie: [disappointed] Randy? Oh, I thought...
Troy: Oh! You thought... I can't believe I mislead you like that. Listen, Randy can be the name of a guy or a girl. And in this case, it is definitely a girl. Thanks for your help.
[Troy walks away, Annie calling after him]

Troy: Taking a call girl to an STD fair? There's a joke here.
(Begins writing in notebook) (After some time has passed)Don't eat the crab dip, hey yay.

Troy: That's one of my biggest fears.
Abed: What is?
Troy: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut...
Abed: You would eat yourself?
Troy: I wouldn't even question it.

Troy: The only difference between Señor Chang and Stalin is that I know who Señor Chang is.

Troy: Where's Abed? I need to talk to him about his films.
Shirley: That boy is flat out prescient! He can read our minds!
[Abed walks in and everyone stares at him]