Community quotes
200 total quotesPierce: Wow, this is a real barn burner! Oh god, did I say cross burner?
Shirley: No, you did not!
Pierce: Oh, good.
Shirley: No, you did not!
Pierce: Oh, good.
Pierce: You know, I've been divorced seven times. Sometimes I think I'm doing something wrong.
Jeff: You keep getting married.
Pierce: I never looked at it that way.
Jeff: You keep getting married.
Pierce: I never looked at it that way.
Professor Whitman: Had I not already cried at the sunrise this morning, I would be weeping right now.
Jeff: What does that mean!
Jeff: What does that mean!
Professor Whitman: Only when we begin to stop stopping our lives can we begin to start starting them!
Rabbi Chang: "Señor Chang"? Ben, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?
Señor Chang: That is who I am!
Señor Chang: That is who I am!
Señor Chang: [After seeing Jeff and Pierce's presentation] F. F-minus.
Pierce: Did you say "S"?
Pierce: Did you say "S"?
Señor Chang: [On seeing Jeff and Pierce's presentation materials] Why are there costumes involved? These are short conversations, they're not supposed to take...
Jeff: ...Your breath away? Well, tough.
Jeff: ...Your breath away? Well, tough.
Shirley: Can we have a protest? I want to protest the hell out of something.
Annie: We can have a candlelight vigil, like lesbians have on the news!
Annie: We can have a candlelight vigil, like lesbians have on the news!
Shirley: I'm so sick of the dean jamming his PC-ness down my throat.
Jeff: Pierce, I'd like to commend you for letting that one go.
Jeff: Pierce, I'd like to commend you for letting that one go.
Shirley: Pierce has got a girlfriend!
Britta: That's great. What's she do?
Pierce: She's an escort.
Shirley: Oh...
Jeff: Some mysteries solve themselves, don't they?
Britta: That's great. What's she do?
Pierce: She's an escort.
Shirley: Oh...
Jeff: Some mysteries solve themselves, don't they?
Shirley: You don't see me saying anything crazy about Abed and Troy's weird relationship.
Abed and Troy: [to each other] They're just jealous.
Abed and Troy: [to each other] They're just jealous.
Shirley: You have been sexually harassing me since the very first day of class.
Pierce: Sexually harassing? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass someone who turns me on?
Pierce: Sexually harassing? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass someone who turns me on?
Slater: Hi, Michelle Slater, Ph.D.
Britta: Britta Perry, G.E.D.
Slater: Oh, are you a classmate of Jeff's?
Jeff: Well, when you say classmate, it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste.
Britta: Britta Perry, G.E.D.
Slater: Oh, are you a classmate of Jeff's?
Jeff: Well, when you say classmate, it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste.
Troy: [about Annie's Psych experiment] Do they do stuff to your butt?
Annie: No!
Troy: Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?
Annie: No.
Troy: It's fine, I'll do it.
Annie: No!
Troy: Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?
Annie: No.
Troy: It's fine, I'll do it.