Community quotes
200 total quotesWhitman: Little trick for acheiving the proper competitive mindset: I always envision the opponent having aggressive sex with my mother.
[Abed is being a "different version of himself"; Annie is standing in as the girl]
Abed: What are you reading?
Annie: Pride and Prejudice.
Abed: So you're familiar with two sins... how about a third?
Shirley: Ooh! [Everyone leans in closer as Abed pulls out a cigarette case.]
Annie: I don't think we're allowed to smoke in here.
Abed: Well, then you picked the wrong outfit, didn't you.
[Abed leans in for a kiss and is interrupted at the last second.]
Shirley: Abed, what are you doing?!
Abed: Don Draper from Mad Men. What did you think?
Britta: Weird.
Troy: Awesome.
Pierce: Put your tongue in her ear.
Annie: I liked it.
Abed: What are you reading?
Annie: Pride and Prejudice.
Abed: So you're familiar with two sins... how about a third?
Shirley: Ooh! [Everyone leans in closer as Abed pulls out a cigarette case.]
Annie: I don't think we're allowed to smoke in here.
Abed: Well, then you picked the wrong outfit, didn't you.
[Abed leans in for a kiss and is interrupted at the last second.]
Shirley: Abed, what are you doing?!
Abed: Don Draper from Mad Men. What did you think?
Britta: Weird.
Troy: Awesome.
Pierce: Put your tongue in her ear.
Annie: I liked it.
[Annie has betrayed the group]
Jeff: Now she is going to make the Disney face: her lip is going to quiver and her eyes will flutter but they won't ever actually close but do not feel sorry for her!
Jeff: Now she is going to make the Disney face: her lip is going to quiver and her eyes will flutter but they won't ever actually close but do not feel sorry for her!
[Britta and Jeff are talking about Vaughn]
Britta: I'm just worried that he's thinking a little bit more intensely about this thing than I am. He says stuff, you know, after...
Jeff: ...school?
Britta: After...
Jeff: ...dinner mints?
Britta: After...
Jeff: ...not having sex?
Britta: I'm just worried that he's thinking a little bit more intensely about this thing than I am. He says stuff, you know, after...
Jeff: ...school?
Britta: After...
Jeff: ...dinner mints?
Britta: After...
Jeff: ...not having sex?
[Britta turns off the TV.]
Jeff: Hey, what are you doing? That was The Jeffersons, honky...
Britta: I was wrong, OK? Material possessions are important. Think how much happier The Jeffersons were than that family on Good Times.
Jeff: Yeah, but they had good times.
Jeff: Hey, what are you doing? That was The Jeffersons, honky...
Britta: I was wrong, OK? Material possessions are important. Think how much happier The Jeffersons were than that family on Good Times.
Jeff: Yeah, but they had good times.
[Señor Chang has assigned excessive homework.]
Britta: There's only one solution. Someone has to go to Chang and talk to him.
Annie: I vote we all look at Jeff at the same time. [They do.]
Jeff: [Not paying attention] In a way, all of you are right... OK, what was I tuning out?
Annie: You have to get Chang to call off some of this homework! You're the one with the silver tongue.
Pierce: Yeah, go tongue Chang.
Britta: There's only one solution. Someone has to go to Chang and talk to him.
Annie: I vote we all look at Jeff at the same time. [They do.]
Jeff: [Not paying attention] In a way, all of you are right... OK, what was I tuning out?
Annie: You have to get Chang to call off some of this homework! You're the one with the silver tongue.
Pierce: Yeah, go tongue Chang.
[The dean is addressing the crowd before a concert.]
Dean Pelton: Green Week was a rousing success here at Greendale. And now for our band, Greene Daeye! By the way, they're not the real Green Day. Thought we should just rip that band-aid off quickly.
Dean Pelton: Green Week was a rousing success here at Greendale. And now for our band, Greene Daeye! By the way, they're not the real Green Day. Thought we should just rip that band-aid off quickly.
[Watching Abed's student films, which are based on the study group.]
Troy: This is wrinkling my brain...
"Troy": This is wrinkling my brain...
Troy: That's wrinkling my brain!
Troy: This is wrinkling my brain...
"Troy": This is wrinkling my brain...
Troy: That's wrinkling my brain!