Alan: [to Mr.Mac] Look, you're not dealing with gullible little kids here now, buddy.Now you brought Shawn, thanks.Now why don't you just take a hike back to con-land.
Mr.Mac: Now do you see how judgmental these people are---
Alan: No, no, listen! [Shoves Mr.Mac into the wall] You see a judgment I made along time ago is that Shawn Hunter is the best friend my kid ever had.And I will kill to protect Shawn Hunter from people like you.
[Topanga, Cory, and Shawn are in Turner's hospital room]

Alan: Hey, son! How was your day?
Cory: Fine.
Alan: What'd you do in school?
Cory: Nothing.
Alan: Hey, hold on! Wait there! You know, every day I ask you, "What did you do?" and every day you tell me "Nothing." Well, I'm tired of nothing. I mean, we both know something happened in school today and I want to know what it is!
Cory: I decided to be a girl.
Alan: Well, you taught me a very valuable lesson there, son.

Alan: You took a job as a security guard?
Amy: Why would you possibly want to do that?
Eric: Oh, only for about ten reasons. One, walkie-talkies. Two, partner. Three, dog. Four, partner. Sometimes we switch partners. Five -- do you want me to keep going? Six, I pack heat!
Amy: You carry a gun?
Eric: Nope. A heater. Gets cold out there in the shed.

Amish Man: Young friend, how far art thou traveling?
Cory: Me?
Amish Man: Yes, thee.
Cory: Ah, well I'm going to Philadelphia.
Amish Man: Well, I'm going as far as that farmhouse, there.
Cory: That farmhouse there?
Amish Man: Yes. That farmhouse, there.
Cory: I see. Well I'm going to Philadelphia.
Amish Man: Well, I could take you as far as that farmhouse, there.
Cory: And that's very nice of you, but maybe I'll just wait for some form of transportation that involves...combustion.
Amish Man: I understand. But if you change your mind, I'll be at that farmhouse, there.
Cory: Yes, but see if that's as far as you're going then it does me no good.
Amish Man: That is true. But my intent was just, and my heart is pure. [rides off]
Cory: Also does me no good.

Amy: I had relationships with four other men before I met your father.
Alan: I know three...

Corinna: I'm surprised you had the guts to show up.
Eric: [seeing her Goth look] I'm surprised you're out when the sun is up.

Corinna: You don't want to see me any more, do you?
Eric: Oh, oh, it's more than that. I want to put you on a rocketship and send you to planet Flaflooga.

Cory: Shawn, this is a hug, okay? This is a hug.And this is when you hug somebody, when you care about them and you want them to know.Now, you can not leave here.Do you hear me? Turner took care of you and he loves you and you love him. Now, is that real? Or is Mr.Mac and the center real? You decide. But you can not go.

Cory: [dressed as a waitress] And tipping is not a city in China.

Cory: Eight lanes and not one stinking island. You gotta be Moses to get across that highway!

Cory: Eric we have to go home and here's why, I'm completly out of clean underwear.
Eric: Eh' Big deal, I ran out a week ago. I'm sittin' pretty.
Cory: Yes but you see, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've also run out of pants.
[Eric screams]
Cory: I want to go home.
Eric: I want you in pants!

Cory: Eric, listen. I wouldn't underestimate these people, okay? I mean, they did get Shawn.
Eric: Cory, no offense to Shawn or anything, okay, but it takes a pretty weak-willed and gullible individual to succumb to this kind of blatant scam.
Alicia: Hi, I'm Alicia. Welcome to The Centre. [hugs Eric]
Eric: [hands Alicia his wallet] Here's my money. Where's my room?

Cory: Every time I get a haircut, it looks terrible for about six weeks. Then it looks good for, like, a day, then it's time for a new haircut. It's what I call the "Haircut Cycle of Shame."

Cory: For once, just listen to me, man. In the classroom under my desk is a key. The key will open ariport locker number B-378. In the locker, you will find a tattered plaid valise. In the valise, you will find my homework for five years. See, for all these years I understood everything. I'm actually a brilliant student.
Feeny: What is the capital of Montana?
Cory: You're not going to the airport, are ya?

Cory: I do have a girlfriend, you know. Her name is Topanga.
Mary Beth: Topanga? Sounds like a freeway exit.