Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



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Judge Sean O'Byrne: I find it insulting to be lectured by an American about the environment.
Denny: Watch it, judge, we're a superpower. Don't make us add you to the Axis.

Judge: Mrs. Piper, you wish to address the court?
Catherine Piper: Just...is it possible to request the Robert Blake jury?

Kelly: [to Denny] How 'bout you go back to your office? I'll have a pair of my pants delivered. You can try and get in them on your own time.

Melissa: [to Alan] I will not be objectified...
Brad: [to Alan] I told you to interview.

Melissa: Don't fall for her, Alan. She's just a guest star.

Melissa: How's my hair? Does my hair work?
Alan: It does appear to grow each month.

Melissa: I will make sure you don't wig out and that's it.
Alan: I'm not sure the term 'wig out' has legal teeth.
Melissa: Mmm, but it is extremely xeroxable for all the partners' windshields.

Melissa: That was the single sexiest thing I've ever seen a man do.
Alan: You should see me do it naked.

Melissa: You're a really weird man, aren't you?
Alan: Seems so.

Paul: Doing nothing is what I'll regret most. I have devoted my life to keeping this firm an outstanding institution. Now, in the twilight of my career, this, this mess could destroy my reputation. All because Denny cannot control his aged groin.

Paul: You had sex with another woman and your wife in the three hours you were married?
Denny: It was my special day. I had taken my little blue pill.
Shirley: There is no cure for cancer, but we've got three pills for that.

Paul: You shot out your client's kneecap!

Phyliss: I had a hard time trying to find you. I called Cruthers, Abbott��
Alan: Oh, I was fired. Embezzlement.
Phyliss: Then I tried Young, Frutt and Berultti.
Alan: Oh, yes. That ended badly.
Phyliss: And here you are at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Alan: For now.

Phyliss: I need your help. You always said I could come to you for anything.
Alan: I meant sexually.

Prosecutor: Law and order isn't simply something on television four nights a week.