Boston Legal quotes
442 total quotesShirley: You do realize that I am significantly older than you are.
Jeffrey: Then be my significantly older other.
Jeffrey: Then be my significantly older other.
Shirley: You know, I hate to break up the tea party but...
Malcolm: Careful, we're still a bit thin-skinned on that one. Such a waste of proper tea.
Malcolm: Careful, we're still a bit thin-skinned on that one. Such a waste of proper tea.
Shirley: You slept with him!
Denise: Did not!
Shirley: You slept with him!
Denise: Did not!
Shirley: You slept with him!
Denise: Well, maybe a little bit.
Denise: Did not!
Shirley: You slept with him!
Denise: Did not!
Shirley: You slept with him!
Denise: Well, maybe a little bit.
Shirley: Your Honor, Mr. Tiggs has a history of ruining women's lives. There's one out there right now. It's going to take her years to get over this.
Ivan: No, she'll get over me, she's like a goldfish. She has a three second memory.
Ivan: No, she'll get over me, she's like a goldfish. She has a three second memory.
Shirley: [to Alan] This was one of Edwin Poole's cases. Somehow it managed to slip through my cracks, so I was sure you'd find it especially tasty.
Shirley: [during closing arguments in court] I'm simply saying that we, as a people, as a nation, like to feel pretty. It's who we are. And if it means a few young rabbits have to sacrifice their lives, well, they and their families can take heart because they did so for their country. Because, when you think about it, all we really hope for at this point is to save face.
Store Owner: Do you know how many times I have been held up this year?
Alan: Far too many to appreciate her little prank, I'm sure... May I ask if that's your car out front, the Datsun with the dents in the side?
Store Owner: Yeah...
Alan: I have a friend who... has a friend, he's a magician with body work. He'll make those dents disappear, change the color, he'll make that Datsun look exactly like a late model BMW.
Store Owner: Can he...make the seats look like...leather?
Alan: The man's a miracle worker!
Alan: Far too many to appreciate her little prank, I'm sure... May I ask if that's your car out front, the Datsun with the dents in the side?
Store Owner: Yeah...
Alan: I have a friend who... has a friend, he's a magician with body work. He'll make those dents disappear, change the color, he'll make that Datsun look exactly like a late model BMW.
Store Owner: Can he...make the seats look like...leather?
Alan: The man's a miracle worker!
Tara: Nymphomania?
Shirley: Anything you can find. And we'll need to line up an expert who can testify, possibly as soon as tomorrow.
Brad: It's not a real disease. It's an excuse offered up by sex perv sickos.
Shirley: Yes, Brad. Thank you for that.
Lori: It's also a sexist diagnosis, as well as bogus. If a man was running around trying to schtup everything he could, we wouldn't say that he had a disease. We would just call him��
Denny: [entering, uttering his signature line] Denny Crane.
Shirley: Exactly.
Shirley: Anything you can find. And we'll need to line up an expert who can testify, possibly as soon as tomorrow.
Brad: It's not a real disease. It's an excuse offered up by sex perv sickos.
Shirley: Yes, Brad. Thank you for that.
Lori: It's also a sexist diagnosis, as well as bogus. If a man was running around trying to schtup everything he could, we wouldn't say that he had a disease. We would just call him��
Denny: [entering, uttering his signature line] Denny Crane.
Shirley: Exactly.
Vanessa Walker: I only have two plane tickets
Denny: Oh, gee, and I only have a Gulfstream.
Denny: Oh, gee, and I only have a Gulfstream.
Vanessa: I'm sure it's a long, very complicated answer, but what is your problem?
Alan: [chuckles] You're right. It's a long...very complicated answer.
Alan: [chuckles] You're right. It's a long...very complicated answer.
Vivian: Did you see the calorie count? Were you able to perform basic math?
Phil: I was addicted, Thin Mint!
Shirley: All right...
Vivian: Let the record reflect that he called me FOOD - a cookie, no less.
Phil: I was addicted, Thin Mint!
Shirley: All right...
Vivian: Let the record reflect that he called me FOOD - a cookie, no less.
Warren: That's it? Two questions. That was your cross?
Lori: I didn't have much to cross him with, Warren.
Warren: Then what was the point of your questions? Tell me that.
Lori: I was trying to establish that you were coerced. The judge doesn't shock easily but maybe the jury does.
Warren: Oh, I see; you were going for shock value. Well, maybe you could've really gone for it and asked three questions.
Lori: I didn't have much to cross him with, Warren.
Warren: Then what was the point of your questions? Tell me that.
Lori: I was trying to establish that you were coerced. The judge doesn't shock easily but maybe the jury does.
Warren: Oh, I see; you were going for shock value. Well, maybe you could've really gone for it and asked three questions.
White Supremacist Twins: [singing] Michael rowed the boat ashore...Hallelujah! Michael rowed the boat ashore...
Alan: You do know that Michael was a homosexual Jew from Mexico, right?
Alan: You do know that Michael was a homosexual Jew from Mexico, right?
[About Gracie Jane]
Paul: Denny, you have got to gag this woman.
Denny: I would love to.
Paul: Denny, you have got to gag this woman.
Denny: I would love to.
[about Gracie Jane]
Paul: My God, we need to gag this woman.
Denny: I did once. Best sexual experience of my life.
Paul: My God, we need to gag this woman.
Denny: I did once. Best sexual experience of my life.