Boston Legal quotes
442 total quotes[About Judge Hooper]
Denise: You sure it was the husband?
Lincoln: I am. He drives some sort of little white convertible in an attempt, I suppose, to seem interesting, which he's not. Not at all. He's a nasty little man. He made her get that restraining order against me. He made her do it.
Denise: Well, you are a Peeping Tom.
Lincoln: She liked that. She liked that I looked. I was a benign peepy.
Denise: You sure it was the husband?
Lincoln: I am. He drives some sort of little white convertible in an attempt, I suppose, to seem interesting, which he's not. Not at all. He's a nasty little man. He made her get that restraining order against me. He made her do it.
Denise: Well, you are a Peeping Tom.
Lincoln: She liked that. She liked that I looked. I was a benign peepy.
[After Alan loses the wrestling match to Denny]
Shirley: Five seconds?
Alan: He cheated. You can't squat on the head.
Shirley: Five seconds?
Alan: Four, actually.
Shirley: Five seconds?
Alan: He cheated. You can't squat on the head.
Shirley: Five seconds?
Alan: Four, actually.
[After Denny has sex on the desk in his office without dropping all the blinds on the storefront windows]
Shirley: This is unprofessional, Denny. You are setting a very bad example for the rest of the firm.
Denny: Understood. And, from now on, in this office, those blinds go down before anybody else does.
Shirley: This is unprofessional, Denny. You are setting a very bad example for the rest of the firm.
Denny: Understood. And, from now on, in this office, those blinds go down before anybody else does.
[after Melissa catches Marlene having sex with Alan]
Marlene: If you like to watch... I'm okay with that.
Marlene: If you like to watch... I'm okay with that.
[at a public bare-breasted protest]
Alan: Oddly, this was one of my fantasies... And the chilly weather is certainly an added bonus.
Alan: Oddly, this was one of my fantasies... And the chilly weather is certainly an added bonus.
[At the office costume party. Alan is dressed as Shirley Schmidt.]
Paul: What's it like being Shirley?
Alan: The thong is a little uncomfortable.
Paul: What's it like being Shirley?
Alan: The thong is a little uncomfortable.
[Before their wrestling match]
Alan: Shouldn't we pee in a cup first? I don't trust his testosterone levels.
Denny: Mine's naturally high.
Alan: Shouldn't we pee in a cup first? I don't trust his testosterone levels.
Denny: Mine's naturally high.
[Bethany is pinching Denny's ear]
Denny: It's sexual this ear pinch.
Bethany: Yes. Pinching the ear gives you blood flow. When's the last time you got that without taking a pill?
Denny: It's sexual this ear pinch.
Bethany: Yes. Pinching the ear gives you blood flow. When's the last time you got that without taking a pill?
[Denny and Alan are out on the balcony at the end of the episode looking at a photograph}
Denny: I shot my first steelhead!
Denny: I shot my first steelhead!
[Denny and Alan are out on the balcony mid episode]
Denny: Is the show over already? You look beaten.
Alan: I just caught Tara laughing with another man.
Denny: Are you sure they weren't just...kissing or something?
Denny: Is the show over already? You look beaten.
Alan: I just caught Tara laughing with another man.
Denny: Are you sure they weren't just...kissing or something?
[Denny and Alan are out on the balcony mid episode]
Denny: Is the show over already?
Denny: Is the show over already?
[Denny spots Claire for the first time]
Denny: Well, well, well, well, well. If you're a client, I'll get you off; if you're not... the offer's still there.
Claire: Okay, ick... and double ick.
Denny: Well, well, well, well, well. If you're a client, I'll get you off; if you're not... the offer's still there.
Claire: Okay, ick... and double ick.
[Denny wakes up to find Alan in his bed.]
Denny: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!
Alan: I don't know!
Denny: What do you mean you don't know?!
Alan: I...got scared! I thought I heard a bear outside!
Denny: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!
Alan: I don't know!
Denny: What do you mean you don't know?!
Alan: I...got scared! I thought I heard a bear outside!
[Discussing a case concerning cannibals]
Shirley: Because this case is disgusting, it's distasteful, it's repugnant...
Alan: Everything I stand for.
Shirley: I'll drive.
Alan: Shirley, is this about getting in a room with me?
Shirley: [sarcastically] Yes, Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.
Shirley: Because this case is disgusting, it's distasteful, it's repugnant...
Alan: Everything I stand for.
Shirley: I'll drive.
Alan: Shirley, is this about getting in a room with me?
Shirley: [sarcastically] Yes, Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.
[During an office meeting about a costume party]
Brad: This is so high school.
Paul: As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room?
Brad: I won.
Jeffrey: Did not!
Paul: Shut up!
Brad: This is so high school.
Paul: As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room?
Brad: I won.
Jeffrey: Did not!
Paul: Shut up!