Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4   Season 5  



Shirley: Are you okay?
Denise: It's just that ever since Daniel died, I... All I can think about is...
Shirley: Yeah.
Denise: Sex. [Shirley looks startled] I walk down the street anything I pass in pants...I wanna have sex!
Shirley: Oh.
Denise: I'm not kidding, Shirley. I wanna screw anybody and everybody. Denny Crane is looking good to me right now.

Shirley: But understand that everyone at this firm is considered a witness. Don't expect anyone at this firm to help you -- OR speak to you.
Alan: And won't that make for a refreshing change.

Shirley: Denise, I understand you're going through some difficulties in your personal life.
Denise: It's hard, but I'll get through it.
Shirley: From what I know about you, when things get tough you prefer to bury yourself in your work. Allow me to provide you with a shovel.

Shirley: Denny. You cheated on your wife at your own wedding reception in what has become some sort of cloakroom fetish-that is a new low, even for you.
Denny Crane: Yeah. It is, isn't it?

Shirley: He is ultimately a benign man who we all happen to care about, including you. I think what you really mean to do is voice your concern unofficially.
Lori: I'm making an official complaint. If there's forms to be filled out please have them sent to my office. [walks away]
Shirley: You little bitch.
Season Two

Shirley: I always say two things. One is, everything you do reflects of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt. What is the other?
Denise Bauer: You're Schmidt.

Shirley: I am a senior partner here.
Jeffrey: You say that like it can get you laid. It can.

Shirley: I know you recently retired. Is this...
Milton: And please do not proffer psychological counsel. I came in here in search of legal and intellectual acuity.
Shirley: And you sought out Denny?

Shirley: I make over a million dollars a year, and I'm in a basement looking for a dead midget.

Shirley: If I agree to help you, one condition. I assume during the course of this case 'breasts' will be referred to in many colorful ways.
Alan: One would hope.
Shirley: Personally, however, I don't ever want to hear them referred to as 'hooters'. I hate that word. Oh, and this is a little off-topic, but I hate the word 'underpants', too.
Alan: If I can have your breasts, I promise not to say 'hooters'.
Shirley: Thank you, Alan.
Alan: Now, as for underpants, if you promise not to wear an...
Shirley: [interrupting] Goodbye, Alan.

Shirley: Lincoln! Suck...my...lobe.

Shirley: Milton, I consider you a friend. Actually I don't, I find you a bit boorish...

Shirley: When you came here I made one request, Jeffrey. One simple request, "Don't step on toes." Silly me for not adding, "Don't punch jaws."

Shirley: White roses, gold leaf cake, Bev's boobs swimming out of her wedding dress.
Brad: Who said money can't buy tastelessness?
Alan: I think Bev and Denny did a lovely job.
Paul: 11 marriages between the two of them. They've had plenty of practice.

Shirley: Who decides when it's OK to make fun of a religion?