Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



All Seasons
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Paul: You had sex with another woman and your wife in the three hours you were married?
Denny: It was my special day. I had taken my little blue pill.
Shirley: There is no cure for cancer, but we've got three pills for that.

Paul: You shot out your client's kneecap!

Phyliss: I had a hard time trying to find you. I called Cruthers, Abbott��
Alan: Oh, I was fired. Embezzlement.
Phyliss: Then I tried Young, Frutt and Berultti.
Alan: Oh, yes. That ended badly.
Phyliss: And here you are at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Alan: For now.

Phyliss: I need your help. You always said I could come to you for anything.
Alan: I meant sexually.

Prosecutor: Law and order isn't simply something on television four nights a week.

Renee: She loved me.
Alan: Well, you made her laugh.
Renee: I'm funny.
Alan: Are you telling me this handwritten will is valid?
Shelby: Completely. It turns out Ms. Winger is also a lawyer.
Renee: The plot thickens.

Sally: What could I possibly say in my closing? I've got nothing.
Alan: Rabbit.
Sally: I'm sorry?
Alan: Pull a rabbit out from under your dress.

Sam Sawtell: We don't do hexes! [punches Bob Matthias in the mouth] We do throw punches, occasionally.

Shirley: [looking around the courtroom] The District Attorney's here.
Alan: Scott Bodner. Politicians are drawn to cameras like flies are drawn to...
Shirley: Politicians.

Shirley: [threatening] Your resume intact?
Alan: Shirley, you're being retaliatory; it becomes you.

Shirley: [to Denise and Brad] We are lawyers. We sue people. We do not abduct.

Shirley: [to Denny] Did you tell Lori you liked chubby sex?
Denny: I meant it as a compliment!

Shirley: [to Father Ryan] Do I dare ask where those three fingers have been prior to my client chopping them off?

Shirley: [to Ivan] What I can tell you is, there is no back door. That post-nup is as tight as your soon to be sixth ex-wife's tushy.

Shirley: [to Lincoln] We all live our lives on a ledge. And it takes surprisingly little to push us over.