Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4   Season 5  



Lori: And what exactly is your defense?
Alan: Something like let him go even though he did it.
Lori: Jury nullification?
Alan: Best I can tell, though Shirley hasn't really filled me in.
Shirley: Talking about me?
Alan: Yes Shirley. If you so enjoy keeping me in the dark, you really should give me a try��in the dark.

Lori: Wait, this firm is actually going to help Milton Bombay be put on ice?
Catherine: Oh, come now Lori. You of all people should know it's not so bad to go through life as a popsicle.

Lori: What are you doing out here?
Shirley: Just looking at the city. Still trying to fathom that-
Lori: The Red Sox won?

Marlene: Brad, did you hear? Denise is getting married.
Brad: [to Denise] Really?
Denise: I was going to tell you.
Marlene: Sometimes it's easier to hear it from a third party.
[Denise attempts to hit Marlene, but she ducks as Denise's arm flies past]
Marlene: [emotionless] That could've hit me.

Marlene: Denise.
Denise: Marlene.
Marlene: I hear you're getting married.
Denise: I am.
Marlene: Congratulations. It must be a relief to have some financial security. Does Buzz know?
Denise: Buzz?
Marlene: Buzz Lightyear. Isn't that the nickname for the Ken-doll with benefits?
Denise: Marlene, I'm finding it extremely difficult not to assault you right now.
Marlene: [deadpan] Oh, I'm sorry. Am I being too familiar? I thought we were girlfriends. I was hoping the relationship wouldn't change when I made partner and you didn't but I guess it has. Oh well.

Marlene: You missed your ten o'clock.
Alan: Um, something came up.
Marlene: Something was supposed to come up, at the closet, at ten o'clock.
Alan: I've got a few minutes now if you'd like to go somewhere and... grab a bite.

Melissa: [to Alan] I will not be objectified...
Brad: [to Alan] I told you to interview.

Melissa: Don't fall for her, Alan. She's just a guest star.

Melissa: How's my hair? Does my hair work?
Alan: It does appear to grow each month.

Melissa: I will make sure you don't wig out and that's it.
Alan: I'm not sure the term 'wig out' has legal teeth.
Melissa: Mmm, but it is extremely xeroxable for all the partners' windshields.

Melissa: That was the single sexiest thing I've ever seen a man do.
Alan: You should see me do it naked.

Melissa: You're a really weird man, aren't you?
Alan: Seems so.

Officer: [to Jerry] Mr Espenson, you were driving in the car pool lane. That lane's reserved for vehicles with two or more passengers. Sir, that is not a person in your passenger seat. [points to the plastic doll in the car]

Paul: Doing nothing is what I'll regret most. I have devoted my life to keeping this firm an outstanding institution. Now, in the twilight of my career, this, this mess could destroy my reputation. All because Denny cannot control his aged groin.

Paul: Have you seen Shirley?
Denny: Naked?
Paul: Lately. She's missing.