Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



All Seasons
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Judge Robert Sanders: I've had enough of all this. Mr. Crane, you've had no excuse to be carrying a gun.
Denny: 2nd Amendment. Founding Fathers. You probably knew them.

Judge Sanders: (to Alan) I think I have enough probable cause, Mr. Shoup. The victim is in the hospital.
Alan: Actually, your honor, since our last get together, I've changed my name from Shoup to Shore. I figured since it's on my birth certificate and driver's license, not to mention the pleadings before you, though I never expect you to read the pleadings because of their (with Judge Sanders) Jibber Jabber.

Judge Sanders: Alright, this would probably be a good time for a bowel movement. Er, Lunch! I mean lunch. Uh, 2 o'clock?
Alan: Could we say 2:30 and make time for both?
Judge Sanders: Silence! I won't stand for your... your...
Alan: Poop?

Judge Sanders: I've had enough of all this! Mr. Crane, you had no excuse to be carrying a gun.
Denny: (To Judge Sanders) Second Amendment! Founding Fathers! You probably knew them.
Judge Sanders: Jibber Jabber!
(After Dr. Field pulls out a gun)

Judge Sanders: Mr. Shore! The court instructed you not to poop!

Judge Sanders: Silence! Mr. Shore, you are the defendent! I don't want to hear another poop out of you! How do you plea?
Alan: Not guilty by reason of the District Attorney's insanity.
Judge Sanders: Alright, we'll set-That's not a real plea!
Alan: Not guilty then.

Judge Sanders: Ten A.M. tomorrow. And I would ask Counsel to check his sense of humor at the door. My courtroom is a temple of decorum. And I do not tolerate jibber-jabber.

Judge Sanders: What is this jibber jabber?
Alan: That wouldn't be jibber jabber, Your Honor, that's a gun.

Judge Sanders: First of all, I will say, for the record, I don't believe in all that moisturizer, botox, fountain of youth poopycock!
Shirley: Oh please, Judge, how else could you look like you do at a hundred?

Judge Sean O'Byrne: I find it insulting to be lectured by an American about the environment.
Denny: Watch it, judge, we're a superpower. Don't make us add you to the Axis.

Judge: Mrs. Piper, you wish to address the court?
Catherine Piper: Just...is it possible to request the Robert Blake jury?

Julio Flores: You Alan Shore?
Alan: Not if you're a process server

Kelly: [to Denny] How 'bout you go back to your office? I'll have a pair of my pants delivered. You can try and get in them on your own time.

Lincoln: From the first moment I saw you, do you know what I wanted to do?
Shirley: Pave my driveway?
Lincoln: I wanted to suck on your right earlobe. I'm sure people tell you you have soft, supple lobes.
Shirley: It gets old.
Lincoln: Is mocking me really an exercise of your most sound judgment, Shirley? After all, I do have in my possession a loaded firearm.
Shirley: Let alone a ukulele.

Little Orphan Annie's Mom: She's earned this, Mr. Shore.
Alan: I have no doubt. But you realize producers do have discretion in the art of casting - strikes me as a very inexact science.