Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



All Seasons
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Denny: [to Alan] What do you mean she's measuring you for trousers? Is that some kind of fetish? Would I like it?

Denny: [to Claire] You said I'd like him. He's an attention-starved wacko fairy. He couldn't kill anyone.
Lincoln: I heard that! I'm getting tired of you, Large Marge. You remind me of Mr. Dirty Mouth. That's what you do.

Denny: [to Judge Brown] Judge, you're old. I'm old. Lock and load before we're dead.

Denny: [to Judge Harvey Cooper[ You're a douchebag. I don't do well with douchebags.

Denny: [to Kelly] I'll visit you in jail. Conjugal.

Denny: [to Paul] I left Bev on simmer. She should be coming to a boil rather nicely now.

Denny: [to Shirley] It's not nice to talk about crazy people behind their backs.

Denny: A man died during angioplasty, leaving him dead. Tragic.

Denny: Alan you know the one thing we sometimes forget is no matter how hard your day, no matter how tough your choices were, how complex your ethical decisions...you always get to choose what you want for lunch.
Alan: Daily I am amazed at your inexhaustable ability to just live.
Denny: It's either that or die.

Denny: Alan, Bev is the woman I've always dreamed of. An angel in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen.
Alan: I think it's the other way around.
Denny: Not last night.

Denny: Alan, I've loved you like a...
Alan: Sister?
Denny: We're Americans. And to be critical in a time of war...even the Democrats are smart enough to keep their mouths shut on this.

Denny: Are we setting a bad example? I shoot people.
Alan: I bribe them.
Denny: We drink.
Alan: We smoke.
Denny: I'm unfaithful.
Alan: Not to me.
Denny: Never to you.
Alan: We're not setting examples. We're just being true to who we are.
Denny: Who are we?
Alan: Denny Crane.
Denny: Alan Shore.
Alan: Leaders of men.
Denny: With bull's eyes on our asses.

Denny: Because we're friends, I'm gonna tell you something nobody else knows. I'm homophobic.
Alan: [deadpan] I'm stunned.

Denny: Can I fish yet?
Guide: You still have a timeout. You just sit there.

Denny: Canada, Japan, England. Any number of those pinko countries, I'd be in jail for shooting somebody.
Alan: God bless America.