Butt-head: This is cool.
Beavis: Yeah! This video has cool looking stuff in it.
Butt-head: Yeah. Even though it's not on the screen long enough to see what it is, you could still tell it's cool.

Butt-head: This is cool.
Beavis: Yeah. It rules. It rules. IT RULES!!!
Butt-head: Right on, Beavis.

Butt-head: This is Joey Buttafuoco's? theme song.

Butt-head: This is just horrible.
Beavis: If you're gonna be horrible, at least, like, you know, kick ass! You know, like Jesus Lizard! I mean, they suck, but they kick ass!

Butt-head: This is like that easy listening stuff.
Beavis: Oh yeah. How come they call that easy listening, when it's like, it's really hard to listen to? It makes me sick!

Butt-head: This is really beginning to piss me off, Beavis.
Beavis: Yeah, really!
Butt-head: Get off the ground and stop whining, you wuss!
Beavis: Get up! Get up, stand up straight, and quit acting like a wuss! Quit whining, go out and get a job and some good clothes!
Butt-head: You tell him, Beavis!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah! And another thing, stay away from those rocks!
The Murmurs, You Suck

Butt-head: This is so horrible, I can't even begin to talk about how much this sucks.
Beavis: Yeah yeah, really. Look at these buttknockers!

Butt-head: This is that group with George Michael, and Kenny G., and Snow.
Beavis: It's a superSUCKgroup!
Comateens, The Late Mistake

Butt-head: This is that, Bee-ork chick...
Beavis: I heard she has a, you know, like, a schlong.
Butt-head: Where did you hear that?
Beavis: This guy told me.
Butt-head: What guy?
Beavis: This guy in the bathroom.
Butt-head: You mean in the bathroom at school?
Beavis: No, the bathroom right here. Right here in this house.
Butt-head: What are you talking about, Beavis?
Beavis: There's this dude who's in there sometimes. I'm serious. He's probably still there, he was there this morning.
Butt-head: Damn it Beavis. There's no one in there.
Beavis: Yes there is, Butt-head. Go check it out.
Butt-head: Beavis, you're a bunghole. [exits. the sound of a door opening can be heard] Uhh...Beavis, flush the toilet next time! [re-enters] There wasn't anybody in there.
Beavis: Hm. Usually he's in the mirror.
Butt-head: Uhh...does he look like a buttmunch?
Beavis: Um...yeah.
Butt-head: Does he have like blond hair?
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, that's him. Yeah.
Butt-head: And does he kinda talk like this? [does a bad impression of Beavis] "Oh yeah, uh huh huh huh."
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! Kinda like that. "Yeah, yeah, björk has a dong".
Butt-head: Dumbass.
Björk, Big Time Sensuality

Butt-head: This is what happens when, like, old people try to rap.
Beavis: Hey, didn't this guy, like, already do this song before?
Butt-head: Oh yeah. But he has long hair now.
Beavis: You mean, like, every time you grow your hair long, you have to do all your songs over again?
Butt-head: No. That's not what I said. [raps] And you may ask yourself!
Beavis: And you may spank yourself!
Butt-head: And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile!
Beavis: And you may find yourself, in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife! And you may ask her, "Where's the bathroom at?"

Butt-head: This is what it's all about.
Beavis: It's like, you watch all these videos, you watch TV, everything sucks, and then something like this comes on, and it's like, it's cool!

Butt-head: This is where it starts to get really stupid. [imitates the singer] Bow to me, faithfully...
Beavis: Bow to me...uh...
Butt-head: Bow to me faithfully.
Beavis: Bow to me faithfully...
Beavis & Butt-head: [in unison] Bow to me faithfully.
Butt-head: Bow to me splendidly...
Beavis: Bow to me splendidly? What does that mean?
Morphine, Honey White

Butt-head: This is why hot girls shouldn't keep a dream journal.
Beavis: Oh, boy.
Donny Osmond, Sacred Emotion

Butt-head: This like, uh... kinda rocks.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, like you know... rock salt.
Butt-head: Okay, Beavis.

Butt-head: This looks like that dude from, uhhh, from that movie, Smell of a Woman.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Butt-head: You know, he was, like, blind and stuff.
Beavis: Yeah, and he's like, "Hoowah! Hoowah! Hoowah!" He's a good actor.
Goo Goo Dolls, Only One