Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesButt-head: "I'm a cowboy".
Beavis: Yeah, "Riding his steel horse, across the great wuss plains!"
Jon Bon Jovi: Baby, I want you!
Beavis: [mockingly] BABY, I WANT YOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!! LIKE THE ROSES WANT THE RAIN!!
Butt-head: "Like the roses want the rain"? [pauses] That's stupid!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! Hey Butt-head, remember when these guys were cool?
Butt-head: Uhhhhhhhhhhh, no? You probably like these guys! Wuss!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head, I hate these guys! I was thinkin' of like, somebody else.
Bon Jovi, Something For the Pain
Beavis: Yeah, "Riding his steel horse, across the great wuss plains!"
Jon Bon Jovi: Baby, I want you!
Beavis: [mockingly] BABY, I WANT YOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!! LIKE THE ROSES WANT THE RAIN!!
Butt-head: "Like the roses want the rain"? [pauses] That's stupid!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! Hey Butt-head, remember when these guys were cool?
Butt-head: Uhhhhhhhhhhh, no? You probably like these guys! Wuss!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head, I hate these guys! I was thinkin' of like, somebody else.
Bon Jovi, Something For the Pain
Butt-head: (as David Letterman) So we're going to go over our Top 10 List from our home office in Butt, Montana. (bounces pencil on table which goes flying right through Beavis (Paul Shaffer)'s glasses)
Beavis: AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Butt-head: WHOA! That was cool!
Beavis: AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Butt-head: WHOA! That was cool!
Butt-Head: (over the drive thru speaker) Uh go away. Were like closed or something.
Butt-head: (pulling trash can into house) So, all we need to do is... (turns around and sees Beavis taking a dump in the living room) UHHHH! BEAVIS, WHAT THE HELL ARE DOING!?
Beavis: (getting up) You said flies like to eat garbage and crap.
Beavis: (getting up) You said flies like to eat garbage and crap.
Butt-head: (watching a replay in which Beavis' mooning is pixelated) Hey Beavis...what's all that fuzzy stuff on your butt?
Beavis: I don't know...is it still there? (mooning Butt-head)
Butt-head: Uh, no...but it wouldn't hurt to wipe once in a while.
Beavis: Uh...heheh, oh yeah, sorry. I was in a hurry.
Butt-head: Beavis, get your butt out of my face and into that bathroom. Now.
Beavis: Heheh, oh yeah, sorry.
(In the DVD cut, after Beavis moons Butthead he goes straight to simply responding "Beavis, get your butt out of my face now" and the episode ends.)
Beavis: I don't know...is it still there? (mooning Butt-head)
Butt-head: Uh, no...but it wouldn't hurt to wipe once in a while.
Beavis: Uh...heheh, oh yeah, sorry. I was in a hurry.
Butt-head: Beavis, get your butt out of my face and into that bathroom. Now.
Beavis: Heheh, oh yeah, sorry.
(In the DVD cut, after Beavis moons Butthead he goes straight to simply responding "Beavis, get your butt out of my face now" and the episode ends.)
Butt-head: (Scoffs) Happiness.
Beavis: Um...you said penis. I just thought I'd tell you that.
Butt-head: I know! Why do you think they call it happiness?
Beavis: Oh yeah! Because when you're weiner's happy, you're happy.
Beavis: Um...you said penis. I just thought I'd tell you that.
Butt-head: I know! Why do you think they call it happiness?
Beavis: Oh yeah! Because when you're weiner's happy, you're happy.
Butt-head: Church.
Beavis: Yeah, church rules! Cuz like, there's always, like, snakes in church, and like, chicks getting it on, and like, dude's bleeding, and lots of guitars and stuff. Church rules!
Butt-head: Beavis, what the hell are you talking about? That's not what happens in church! You've never even been to church.
Beavis: I know, but I've seen it in videos and stuff, and like, there's always lots of smoke and snakes, and like, cool stuff.
Butt-head: Beavis, church isn't like that. I went to church once, and it's like, there was a bunch of buttmunches strumming guitars going: "Here we are, all together as we sing our song joyfully!"
Beavis: Yeah? Well, that song's pretty cool.
Butt-head: No it's not, Beavis. It sucks! And then it's like, you have to go up and like, this guy puts a cracker in your mouth and like, sprays water on you and stuff.
Beavis: Really? Well that sounds cool too! Yeah.
Butt-head: Uh, yeah I guess it is kind of cool.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, see, see? That's not that bad! "Here we are, alltogether as we sing our song..."
Beavis & Butt-head: "...joyfully! Keep the fire burning and kindle it with care. And we'll all join in and sing!"
Beavis: Yeah, sounds pretty cool!
Overkill, Hello From the Gutter
Beavis: Yeah, church rules! Cuz like, there's always, like, snakes in church, and like, chicks getting it on, and like, dude's bleeding, and lots of guitars and stuff. Church rules!
Butt-head: Beavis, what the hell are you talking about? That's not what happens in church! You've never even been to church.
Beavis: I know, but I've seen it in videos and stuff, and like, there's always lots of smoke and snakes, and like, cool stuff.
Butt-head: Beavis, church isn't like that. I went to church once, and it's like, there was a bunch of buttmunches strumming guitars going: "Here we are, all together as we sing our song joyfully!"
Beavis: Yeah? Well, that song's pretty cool.
Butt-head: No it's not, Beavis. It sucks! And then it's like, you have to go up and like, this guy puts a cracker in your mouth and like, sprays water on you and stuff.
Beavis: Really? Well that sounds cool too! Yeah.
Butt-head: Uh, yeah I guess it is kind of cool.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, see, see? That's not that bad! "Here we are, alltogether as we sing our song..."
Beavis & Butt-head: "...joyfully! Keep the fire burning and kindle it with care. And we'll all join in and sing!"
Beavis: Yeah, sounds pretty cool!
Overkill, Hello From the Gutter
Butt-head: Maps.
Beavis: Yeah, remember that time that guy came into Burger World 'cause he was lost? And you, like, drew a map with, like, ketchup and french fries and pickles!
Butt-head: Oh yeah. I was just making stuff up!
Beavis: Yeah, you were like, "Okay, you see, you go right down here and then you turn left, and then see this pickle, this is like a big building".
Butt-head: Yeah. He believed me!
Beavis: He was like goin': "Uh huh, okay, uh hmm".
Beavis: Yeah, remember that time that guy came into Burger World 'cause he was lost? And you, like, drew a map with, like, ketchup and french fries and pickles!
Butt-head: Oh yeah. I was just making stuff up!
Beavis: Yeah, you were like, "Okay, you see, you go right down here and then you turn left, and then see this pickle, this is like a big building".
Butt-head: Yeah. He believed me!
Beavis: He was like goin': "Uh huh, okay, uh hmm".
Butt-head: [addressing a man dressed in a devil costume] Uhh...hey Satan, how's it going?
Beavis: How come whenever you see, like, Satan in a video, it's just some dork in a costume?
Butt-head: Yeah. The real Satan doesn't do videos.
Beavis: Unless it's like for Danzig or something.
Beavis: How come whenever you see, like, Satan in a video, it's just some dork in a costume?
Butt-head: Yeah. The real Satan doesn't do videos.
Beavis: Unless it's like for Danzig or something.
Butt-head: [addressing a woman in the video] Hey, how's it goin'? What high school do you go to?
Beavis: I go to the same high school you go to, what are you talking about, Butt-head?
Butt-head: I was talking to the chick, Beavis! Dumbass!
Beavis: Well, you should have said "Hey, baby" then. Like this, hey baby! How's it going?
Beavis: I go to the same high school you go to, what are you talking about, Butt-head?
Butt-head: I was talking to the chick, Beavis! Dumbass!
Beavis: Well, you should have said "Hey, baby" then. Like this, hey baby! How's it going?
Butt-head: [After Julie pulls a switchblade on a girl] Whoa! Check it out, she's got a boner switchblade.
Beavis: Cool! [Girl who got threatened backs against a wall] I'll save you baby, I'll save you! As long as you do it with me. It's like one of those movies where they're kicking ass at a restaurant and a guy says "Your crab style very good, but it no match for my crane style!"
Butt-head: Yeah, except this is a beer commercial.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Beavis: Cool! [Girl who got threatened backs against a wall] I'll save you baby, I'll save you! As long as you do it with me. It's like one of those movies where they're kicking ass at a restaurant and a guy says "Your crab style very good, but it no match for my crane style!"
Butt-head: Yeah, except this is a beer commercial.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Butt-head: [bangs the drum] This sucks. [bangs it again] Uh....this sucks. [bangs it some more] This sucks.