Butt-head: [choking] Beavis! Beavis! I'm choking!
Beavis: Yeah, so. What do you want me to do about it?
Butt-head: Call 911!
Beavis: Why don't you call? You're closer.
Butt-head: You're closer, dumb-ass.
Beavis: Oh, yeah.

Butt-head: [choking] Beavis?
Beavis: Yea Butt-Head?
Butt-head: I'm..[gasps]..I'm.. [gasps again] I'm
Beavis: Agh, I hate this stupid game. [Butt-Head grabs Beavis's throat] AGH AHG!. Uhh choking, your choking?
Butt-Head knods and points to the box of chicken nuggets on the couch.

Butt-head: [During the bridge of the song] This part of the song sucks.
Beavis: Yeah, really.
Butt-head: These guys need to just concentrate on rocking.
Beavis: Yeah, really. Rock! Rock!
Butt-head: [Bridge of song ends] Yeah. That's more like it.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah! There you go.
Butt-head: This guy keeps on like, stumbling around and stuff.
Beavis: Yeah, it's like, I don't think he's having a very good day.
Butt-head: I think he's just drunk off his ass.
Beavis: [Reznor presses against keyboard] Hey, get your hand off his keyboard, butthole!
Butt-head: Yeah. These guys need to practice more.
Beavis: Yeah. They weren't very well prepared for this video.

Butt-head: [eating a burger] Huh huh huh. Hey, Beavis, how's that new soda?
Beavis: Mmm, mh heh, it's pretty good.

Butt-head: [Farts towards the quiet end of song]
Beavis: Thank you very much, we're Nine Inch Nails.
Butt-head: Good night!
Nirvana, Heart-Shaped Box

Butt-head: [Handing Beavis's severed finger to the nurse] Hey Beavis. I'm giving her the finger.

Butt-head: [holding an empty garbage can] Now remember the rules, Beavis. I throw it at you, then you throw it at me.
Beavis: Um, I don't get it. How do you win? [is hit in the head with the can, and falls over]
Butt-head: [laughs] That was cool.

Butt-head: [moans]
Beavis: Um, hey Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?
[The song appears to end]
Butt-head: Whoa! Is this video over?
Beavis: Um, yeah! Yeah, it's over!
Butt-head: Well that was pretty cool. I mean it sucked but at least it was short! They should make 'em all this short!
Beavis: Yeah, really! Then you wouldn't have to listen to 'em as much. What else is on?

Butt-head: [placing the dog in a washing machine] It's a poodle, set it on "delicate".

Butt-head: [reading off the washing machine] Huh huh huh, it says ��load'.

Butt-head: [referring to a nude male statue's penis] Huhuh...it's hard, but it's not, like, hard.
Mr. Van Driessen: Very good, Butt-head!

Butt-head: [scoffing] Bon Jovi.
Beavis: But you know, this song, it's kind of, um...uh...never mind.
Butt-head: Uhh, what?
Beavis: Well, I was just gonna say, you know, this song, I mean...you know, it sucks, but there's this one part that I kinda like where it kinda goes [sings] "Give me something for the pain..."
Butt-head: Uhh, what did you say, Beavis?
Beavis: Well, no, I'm just saying...you know, I kinda like this one part of the song where it goes [sings] "Give me something for the pain..." [Butt-head slaps Beavis multiple times] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Cut it out, bunghole!
Butt-head: I'm doing it for your own good, Beavis. You were starting to like this song.
Beavis: Well, no, I mean, I still think Bon Jovi sucks, but I just kinda think this song, you know, it kind of, um...there's just this one part that kind of, like...[Butt-head repeatedly slaps Beavis again]
Butt-head: If you say one more good thing about Bon Jovi, I'm gonna really smack the bejesus out of you.
Beavis: Okay, so it sucks. But it doesn't suck as much as...[Butt-head repeatedly slaps Beavis again] Cut it out! Damn it, Butt-head! Bon Jovi rules! [kicks Butt-head in the testicles] Bunghole!
Butt-head: Dammit, Beavis!
Beavis: Take that! Yeah, I like this song.
Butt-head: This sucks. And as soon as my nads feel better, I'm gonna beat the living crap outta you. [Beavis kicks him in the testicles again] AAAAHHH!!!
Beavis: You can't tell me what sucks! I like this, so blow it up your ass!
Edie Brickell & New Bohemians, What I Am

Butt-head: [The screen says Violet] Uh...violence?
Beavis: Yeah, alright! I like it when they tell you beforehand that there's gonna be some violence, so you can make sure you don't, like, go to the bathroom or anything.

Butt-head: [thinking] You will get the chick across from you. You will see her thingies. It is going to be cool.

Butt-Head: [Upon seeing the old janitor featured in the music video] Beavis's dad!