Butt-head: [Wails in imitation again] Uhuuuhuuuuuuhhhhhh!
Beavis: If he didn't do that, it's like, he'd be better.
Butt-head: Yeah. Or like, if he didn't have the makeup and he didn't sing like that, then he'd be pretty cool.
Beavis: Yeah, he can keep the caterpillars too. That'd be pretty cool.

Butt-head: [without emotion] Ha ha ha ha ha.
Beavis: Ha ha ha ha. [sees the band] AAAHHH!! OH NO, IS THIS GRIM REAPER?! OH, GOD! OH, DAMMIT!
[The lead singer rises up from laying down]
Butt-head: UH!
Beavis: AAH! What was that? Was that a bulldog?
Butt-head: I think it was a Shih Tzu.
Beavis: Yeah. [In Cornholio accent] A Shih Tzu! Doggie poo!

Butt-head: [[sings in imitation again] Uhh...dududududududuh-daaaahhh!!! How come these guys suck so much?
Beavis: Yeah. They dress up like they're gonna rock, but then they just suck!
Butt-head: Yeah. These guys are like a cross between Stone Temple Pilots and...
Beavis: Yeah, and my nads...
Butt-head: Nelson, and...
Beavis: And my butt...
Butt-head: Billy Joel, and like, uhh...
Beavis: And some turds...
Butt-head: Eddie Rabbitt...
Green Day, Basket Case

Butt-head: All these videos nowadays, it's like, they have this one really weird dude in 'em.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, it's like, all of them have this one really weird guy running around. Except for this video.
Butt-head: Uhh, Beavis, I was talking about this video. They got that dude with the damn tattoo and the bald head.
Beavis: Yeah, but he's not that weird. There's dudes like that everywhere.
Butt-head: I know, and they're all weird.
Beavis: Oh.

Butt-head: And it is with utmost regret that I must report that our baby was stolen by gypsies in the night.

Butt-head: Aspen Extreme...
Beavis: That movie sucked! I sat through that whole damn sucky movie for two hours and that chick never got naked!
Butt-head: Yeah. It's a good thing we snuck into that movie, 'cause if we had to pay, I would have been kicking ass all over the place.
Beavis: Yeah, really. How could she not get naked, when they say "ass" right in the title?

Butt-head: Ball. Huh huh.
[Butt-head hits the frog with the baseball bat]

Butt-head: Beavis is not dog food. He's worm food.

Butt-head: Beavis' dad was in the Navy.
Sgt. Dick Leaky: Is that right?
Butt-head: Yeah. He was a seaman.

Butt-head: Beavis, the name of this song is ��50 Foot Queenie.'
Beavis: Yeah, I'd like a 50 foot queenie.
Butt-head: I'd like a 50 foot weenie.
PJ Harvey, Down by the Water

Butt-head: Beavis, you suck as a liar.
Beavis: Heh, yeah, liar. LIAR! Liar, liar, pants on-...heh! Woah.
[Butt-head is being hooked up to the lie detector tester]

Butt-head: Beavis, your balls are filthy. Go to the ball washer, now!
(Beavis starts pumping ball washer)

Butt-head: Beware the long arm of Butt-head.
Beavis: Beware the long wiener of Beavis!

Butt-head: Bobby. C.C., and Brettt!
Beavis: And don't forget Rikki!
Poison, Unskinny Bop

Butt-head: Boner is pretty cool sometimes.
Beavis: That's because he has a cool name.
Butt-head: I bet when he was little, his mom used to say "Boner, come to dinner!"
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! She'd say "Boner! Boner! Time for dinner! We're having beanies and weenies! And tacos, and nachos! And fajitas!"
Butt-head: Then in the morning, she'd turn to Boner's dad, and say "Is Boner up yet?"
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. "Boner! Boner! Get up, Boner!"
Butt-head: And then, like, when his dad went to PTA meetings, the teachers would say "Your son sure does sing well" and he'd say "That's my Boner."
Beavis: Yeah. BONER!!!
Butt-head: That's a cool name. You know who has a really stupid name, though? The Edge.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! The Edge. What is that?
Butt-head: That's stupid.