Beavis and Butt-Head quotes

1300 total quotes


Butt-head: How come everyone whispers in these movies?
Beavis: They're probably embarrassed. What do you think?
Girls: Shhh! Shut up!
'Beavis: Oh sorry. Sorry.

Butt-head: I'm not just a Hair Club member, I'm also the president.
Beavis: Heh-heh...you said "member."
Seven Year Bitch, Hip Like Junk

Butt-Head: I've got a rock formation in my pants.
[Van Driessen has got his guitar ready and asks the students for song requests]

Butt-Head: Let's write big butt on the chalkboard.
[Beavis and Butt-head are about to deface the blackboard when they see the words, "FIELD TRIP TODAY"]

Butt-Head: She made this little kid cry just so he could be in this video.
Beavis: Yeah that's messed up. What kind of parent would let their kid be in this video?!
Butt-Head: Yeah! They're like, "Okay son, now there's gonna be some scary monsters, and some creepy people putting their hands on you, but you should be able to handle it because you're like...uh, one and a half."
Beavis: "Yeah, you're one now! It's time you start pulling your weight around here!"
Milla, Gentlemen Who Fell

Butt-Head: Uh, do you know what "Cage the Elephant" means?
Beavis: Oh yeah, like um, choking your chicken?
Butt-Head: Beavis, you think everything means that! But uh, in this case, it does.
[laughing and a shot of a very content face is shown]

Butt-Head: Uh, I think that's supposed to be her dad. He's like, "Never shoulda sent that kid to Hogwarts."

Butt-Head: Uhh, check it out! An Indian!
Beavis: You know, something I've always wondered about Indians, are they Mexicans?
Butt-Head: Uhh, Beavis?
Beavis: Yeah?
Butt-Head: Remember, you asked that question in Social Studies, and the teacher sent you to the principal's office?
Beavis: Oh yeah, yeah. And the principal didn't know either!

Butt-Head: Uhhh, is this 16 and Pregnant?
Beavis: No no no no. I've seen all of those. Plus she already has a baby, so this is probably, um, Teen Mom season 3! I've seen all of seasons 1 and 2!
Butt-Head: She's a lousy mom.

Butt-head: Wait, it's trying to tell us something. [Begins to read] "Feel"..."Tit"...err..."Tripe"...

Butt-Head: We need to find a place to watch tv.
(Two men come out of a broken store window with a tv)
Beavis: Hey they got one.
Butt-Head: (Yelling to the men offscreen) YO, WAIT UP DUDE!
Cop (offscreen) FREEZE POLICE!
(Gunshot)
Butt-Head: Uhh.. never mind.

Butt-head: Well this isn't very good.
Beavis: So uh, is Bella a zombie? She's just standing there with her mouth open and she acts like she's dead...
Girl: Shhh! Quiet!
Beavis: Ehh, sorry, sorry.
Movie Vampire: I will fight for you until your heart stops beating. And then I will still love you. And then I will keep loving you, until the end of time...
[more reactions from the girls in the theater]

Butt-head: Whoa! It's hammer time!

Butt-head: Whoa! You're crying!
Beavis: What, no I'm not!
Butt-head: You're crying like a girl!
Beavis: No way! I am not! Dammit!
Butt-head: You're moved.
Beavis: I am not moved! Shut up! I don't know what it is.
Butt-head: This is amazing!

Butt-head [whilst sat on the photocopier]: Would you like a copy of my butt?