Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesBeavis: This chick looks familiar.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. She was in that movie.
Beavis: Oh yeah, that movie...it was the second one. The second one of that first one where that dude was choking his chicken on that rock.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. She was in that movie.
Beavis: Oh yeah, that movie...it was the second one. The second one of that first one where that dude was choking his chicken on that rock.
Beavis: THIS GUY'S A GOOD DANCER, HUH, BUTT-HEAD??
Butt-head: YEAH! HE'S PRETTY COOL!!
Beavis: IT'S LIKE, HE'S A GOOD DANCER, AND HE SINGS PRETTY COOL, AND HE, LIKE ROCKS!!
Butt-head: SHUT UP, BEAVIS!! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN!!
Beavis: OH YEAH, ME TOO, I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TOO!!
Butt-head: YEAH! HE'S PRETTY COOL!!
Beavis: IT'S LIKE, HE'S A GOOD DANCER, AND HE SINGS PRETTY COOL, AND HE, LIKE ROCKS!!
Butt-head: SHUT UP, BEAVIS!! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN!!
Beavis: OH YEAH, ME TOO, I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TOO!!
Beavis: This is a ripoff. It's like, when I see a Soundgarden video, I wanna see Soundgarden, not just, like, pictures of Soundgarden.
Butt-head: Uhh, the video is just a bunch of pictures, Beavis.
Beavis: What do you mean, Butt-head?
Butt-head: Everything on TV is just, like, a bunch of pictures of something.
Beavis: No it's not! It's like, sometimes they move.
Butt-head: Yeah, but it's still, like, moving pictures.
Beavis: No it's not, they're moving around! I mean, they're not moving around, but in other videos they're moving around.
Butt-head: Beavis, you're gonna see a moving picture of my foot kicking your ass in about two seconds. Now just shut up and sit still.
Butt-head: Uhh, the video is just a bunch of pictures, Beavis.
Beavis: What do you mean, Butt-head?
Butt-head: Everything on TV is just, like, a bunch of pictures of something.
Beavis: No it's not! It's like, sometimes they move.
Butt-head: Yeah, but it's still, like, moving pictures.
Beavis: No it's not, they're moving around! I mean, they're not moving around, but in other videos they're moving around.
Butt-head: Beavis, you're gonna see a moving picture of my foot kicking your ass in about two seconds. Now just shut up and sit still.
Beavis: This is like that music they play in those clothes stores in the mall, where they have a bunch of TV screens.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. And it's all loud, and then the salespeople come up and say "Hi, would you like a tie today?"
Beavis: Those places are stupid.
Butt-head: Oh yeah. And it's all loud, and then the salespeople come up and say "Hi, would you like a tie today?"
Beavis: Those places are stupid.
Beavis: This is mall music.
Butt-head: Yeah. She has to play in a mall because she sucks.
Butt-head: Yeah. She has to play in a mall because she sucks.
Beavis: This is, like, one of those dudes that's like really intense all the time, like, he wears earrings and stuff, and like, sometimes he's pretty cool, but sometimes you just like, go, "Settle down, dammit!".
Butt-head: Yeah. Guys like this, like, they always come into Burger World telling you why meat's bad for you, and stuff. But it's like, I always tell 'em, "If meat's bad for you, then how come it's food?"
Beavis: Yeah, really. See, that's a good point.
Butt-head: Then I tell 'em to get the hell out of my restaurant.
Butt-head: Yeah. Guys like this, like, they always come into Burger World telling you why meat's bad for you, and stuff. But it's like, I always tell 'em, "If meat's bad for you, then how come it's food?"
Beavis: Yeah, really. See, that's a good point.
Butt-head: Then I tell 'em to get the hell out of my restaurant.
Beavis: This music kind of sucks.
Butt-head: This isn't even music really. This is just like that kind of crap that guy plays down at the organ store at the mall, on one of those $10,000 organs.
Beavis: Yeah, heh: "How much for your organ, sir?"
Butt-head: "Uh, that'll be $10,000 son. Please don't touch it."
3OH!3, Touchin' on My
Butt-head: This isn't even music really. This is just like that kind of crap that guy plays down at the organ store at the mall, on one of those $10,000 organs.
Beavis: Yeah, heh: "How much for your organ, sir?"
Butt-head: "Uh, that'll be $10,000 son. Please don't touch it."
3OH!3, Touchin' on My
Beavis: This music sucks!
Butt-head: Yeah... I wonder when the bride chick's gonna be here...
Butt-head: Yeah... I wonder when the bride chick's gonna be here...
Beavis: This sucks. I hate taking showers.
Butt-head: Yeah, I don't want some naked dudes standing with a schlong right next to me.
Beavis: Yeah, really! I don't want some naked dude standing next to me with his schlong slinging around saying 'Hey good game man.'
Butt-head: And you better not look at me, fart-knocker, or I'll kick your ass.
Beavis: You look at me, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Guy: Hey Beavis and Butt-Head, are you guys gonna finally take a shower?
Butt-head: Uhhh... ummm... hey dude.
Guy: I've never seen you guys take a shower before.
Butt-head: Uhhh... Yeah.
Guy: How come you guys never take a shower?
Butt-head: Hey Beavis, it's all clear.
Guy: Hey Beavis, can you help me with this?
[Beavis Screams]
Butt-head: Yeah, I don't want some naked dudes standing with a schlong right next to me.
Beavis: Yeah, really! I don't want some naked dude standing next to me with his schlong slinging around saying 'Hey good game man.'
Butt-head: And you better not look at me, fart-knocker, or I'll kick your ass.
Beavis: You look at me, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Guy: Hey Beavis and Butt-Head, are you guys gonna finally take a shower?
Butt-head: Uhhh... ummm... hey dude.
Guy: I've never seen you guys take a shower before.
Butt-head: Uhhh... Yeah.
Guy: How come you guys never take a shower?
Butt-head: Hey Beavis, it's all clear.
Guy: Hey Beavis, can you help me with this?
[Beavis Screams]
Beavis: This video is, um, it's like it's causing me to influence my behaviour. I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna go into the kitchen and break something. [leaves the room] It's all this damn video's fault! [sounds of banging metal can be heard]
Butt-head: Yeah.
Beavis: [more intense crashes and bangs can be heard] Eh! Ugh! Son of a bitch!
Butt-head: Go for it, Beavis!
Beavis: This is cool!
Butt-head: The video still sucks!
Beavis: [more crashes and bangs can be heard] This is cool, Butt-head! [the crashing and banging becomes really intense] Ugh! Son of a bitch! AAAHH!!
Butt-head: Uhh, Beavis? Beavis? Settle down.
Beavis: [going really crazy with the crashing and banging] YAAAHHH!!! YOU MUST DIE!!!
Butt-head: Uhh, don't break the popcorn, Beavis.
Beavis: AAAAAHHHYYAAAAAHHH!!! [breaks something] OW!! OW!
Butt-head: Uhh, Beavis?
Beavis: Dammit! I cut my leg! [re-enters] I cut myself. Where are the band-aids?
Butt-head: Uhh, they're in the bathroom.
Beavis: [leaves] Aah, I'm bleeding! Ow!
Butt-head: This is cool.
Beavis: Yeah, but I'm bleeding. And it's all this video's fault. [crashes can be heard]
Skatman John, Skatman
Butt-head: Yeah.
Beavis: [more intense crashes and bangs can be heard] Eh! Ugh! Son of a bitch!
Butt-head: Go for it, Beavis!
Beavis: This is cool!
Butt-head: The video still sucks!
Beavis: [more crashes and bangs can be heard] This is cool, Butt-head! [the crashing and banging becomes really intense] Ugh! Son of a bitch! AAAHH!!
Butt-head: Uhh, Beavis? Beavis? Settle down.
Beavis: [going really crazy with the crashing and banging] YAAAHHH!!! YOU MUST DIE!!!
Butt-head: Uhh, don't break the popcorn, Beavis.
Beavis: AAAAAHHHYYAAAAAHHH!!! [breaks something] OW!! OW!
Butt-head: Uhh, Beavis?
Beavis: Dammit! I cut my leg! [re-enters] I cut myself. Where are the band-aids?
Butt-head: Uhh, they're in the bathroom.
Beavis: [leaves] Aah, I'm bleeding! Ow!
Butt-head: This is cool.
Beavis: Yeah, but I'm bleeding. And it's all this video's fault. [crashes can be heard]
Skatman John, Skatman
Beavis: Those squares remind me of that game all those stupid dorks play...um, chest.
Beavis: Yeah. It doesn't even have anything to do with boobs.
Beavis: Yeah. It doesn't even have anything to do with boobs.
Beavis: Uh oh. I think it's one of those TV preachers.
Butt-head: Dammit Beavis, you'd better not send him all our money again.
Beavis: Sometimes I can't help myself. It's like, I start going "I know that's right. Hallelujah." And then I'm on the phone, and I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, here's all my money!"
Butt-head: Yeah, but it's like, you send him all your money and you're still just a dumbass with a lot of problems.
Beavis: Hey, you're right. [angry] Dammit! I got ripped off!
Butt-head: Dammit Beavis, you'd better not send him all our money again.
Beavis: Sometimes I can't help myself. It's like, I start going "I know that's right. Hallelujah." And then I'm on the phone, and I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, here's all my money!"
Butt-head: Yeah, but it's like, you send him all your money and you're still just a dumbass with a lot of problems.
Beavis: Hey, you're right. [angry] Dammit! I got ripped off!
Beavis: Uh, wait a minute, wait a minute...ooh, I've seen these guys before.
Butt-head: No you haven't, Beavis, we've never seen this.
Beavis: Yes I have. AAH!! Like, I've been having nightmares about these guys. What is this??? Come on, Butt-head, change it, this is freaking me out.
Butt-head: Beavis, you wuss.
Beavis: [a Bubbleman stares at the television] AAAHH, LOOK, HE'S LOOKING AT ME!!
Butt-head: How can you be scared of these guys?
Beavis: You don't understand, Butt-head. You haven't seen what these guys do. I have these nightmares, it's like they tie me to a chair, and then it's like, they dance around me and look at me going "Doing doing doing doing doing", and then they get medieval on my ass. [a Bubbleman waves] AAAH, HE'S WAVING AT ME!! And it's like, they're smiling because they know what they're gonna do to me. And you know what else freaks me out? It's like, they have nads on their heads, see? [the Bubblemen dance onto a stage with microphones] See, they're just dancing around now, but pretty soon, they're gonna do it.
Butt-head: Beavis, those aren't nads. Those are like, uh, antennas.
Beavis: Well, how do you know there aren't like, nads inside the antennas? [the Bubblemen are now playing with a beach ball] AAAH NO, NOT THE BEACH BALL!!!! NO!! AAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!! Besides, it's like, I think they use those antennas to receive evil messages.
Butt-head: Beavis, you wussy!
Beavis: Oh good, I think it's over. Ahh.
The Bucketheads, The Bomb
Butt-head: No you haven't, Beavis, we've never seen this.
Beavis: Yes I have. AAH!! Like, I've been having nightmares about these guys. What is this??? Come on, Butt-head, change it, this is freaking me out.
Butt-head: Beavis, you wuss.
Beavis: [a Bubbleman stares at the television] AAAHH, LOOK, HE'S LOOKING AT ME!!
Butt-head: How can you be scared of these guys?
Beavis: You don't understand, Butt-head. You haven't seen what these guys do. I have these nightmares, it's like they tie me to a chair, and then it's like, they dance around me and look at me going "Doing doing doing doing doing", and then they get medieval on my ass. [a Bubbleman waves] AAAH, HE'S WAVING AT ME!! And it's like, they're smiling because they know what they're gonna do to me. And you know what else freaks me out? It's like, they have nads on their heads, see? [the Bubblemen dance onto a stage with microphones] See, they're just dancing around now, but pretty soon, they're gonna do it.
Butt-head: Beavis, those aren't nads. Those are like, uh, antennas.
Beavis: Well, how do you know there aren't like, nads inside the antennas? [the Bubblemen are now playing with a beach ball] AAAH NO, NOT THE BEACH BALL!!!! NO!! AAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!! Besides, it's like, I think they use those antennas to receive evil messages.
Butt-head: Beavis, you wussy!
Beavis: Oh good, I think it's over. Ahh.
The Bucketheads, The Bomb