Beavis: Look, dude! A frog!
Beavis and Butt-head: FROG BASEBALL!!
Butt-head: GET IT!!
[Butt-head constantly misses the frog with the bat]

Beavis: Mmmmmm. Tastes like chicken.
[The pair go looking for the toad]

Beavis: No one is gonna sign this thing!
Butt-Head: Yeah! huh huh! Petitions are stupid!
[Next]

Beavis: Oh god.
Butt-head: Look at his face.
Beavis: Look at that crack in his chin.
Butt-head: I think it's a buttcrack.
Beavis: Well I guess that would make sense, since like, there's just a bunch of diarrhea coming out of his mouth.
Butt-head: Yeah. It's like when God was passing out buttcracks, this guy got in line twice.
Beavis: Yeah. And then God gave him one too, you know, the second time.
[Sam Harris starts belting]

Beavis: Oh God.
Butt-head: What the hell is the problem with this crap?
Beavis: This sucks.
Butt-head: [Sees a note that says Don't try to follow] Yeah, I think that's what that note said.

Beavis: Oh look, it's the turds again. Turds!
Butt-head: Where?
Beavis: Right there! He was riding around some turds, Butt-head.
Butt-head: Really?
Beavis: They're right there on the ground! He's like, riding around some turds.
Butt-head: Satan always likes to have some turds by.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. He is Satan.
Jamie Walters, Hold On

Beavis: Oh my god, it's Michael Bolton!
Butt-head: No it's not. [embarrased] Uhh...uh oh.
Beavis: What, what?
Butt-head: I think I just pooped in my pants.
Beavis: No way, really?
Butt-head: I realized it was Michael Bolton, and my bowels let loose.

Beavis: Oh no. Just look at this crap. It's, like, another one of those videos where you don't even remember it right after you saw it.
Butt-head: You can't remember any videos right after you saw 'em, Beavis.
Beavis: Yeah I can. That's how I know this is one of those videos.

Beavis: Oh no. This video freaks me out. It's like, you know, I get all excited when I see the chicks, but then I see these stubby dudes, and it, like...makes my testes retract into my globules.
Butt-head: Yeah. It gives me a special feeling in my seminefrious tubules.
Beavis: I wanna do every single girl in this video.
Butt-head: Uhh, you wanna do, like, every girl in every video, Beavis.
Beavis: No. Not really.
Butt-head: Uhh, name one girl in a video that you wouldn't wanna do.
Beavis: Let me think...oh, I know. Um, there's that one video, you know, where they're like, "Been Caught Stealing", and um...there's that one girl and she's, like, you know, stuffing fruit and stuff down her shirt. I don't wanna do her.
Butt-head: Uhh...that's a dude dressed up like a girl, Beavis. That doesn't count.
Beavis: Oh. Uh, let me think..."Wilson Phillips"...uh, no, yes I'd do her...ah, oh, um...no. Boy, maybe you're right. I just wanna make love to all the women of the world.
Butt-head: Me too.
Deus, Suds and Soda [a violin that sounds like a siren is used throughout the whole song]

Beavis: Oh yeah, yeah, I've seen this before! This chick beats herself in the head later. It's cool.
Butt-head: Uh...oh yeah! This is gonna be cool.

Beavis: Oh, look at the monkey! You know what they should do? They should like, break that couch. They should like, just rip it up. Like, break it.
Butt-head: Uh ... yeah.
Billie Joe Armstrong begins stabbing the couch]
Beavis: Yeah, like that!
Butt-head: Yeah!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! BREAK IT! RIP IT!
Butt-head: Break it!
Beavis: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
Butt-head: Yes!
Beavis: GET IN THERE
Butt-head: Kick it! Kick the couch!
Beavis: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! No, no no, don't stop!
Butt-head: Don't stop!
Beavis: Don't stop, dammit!
Butt-head: Quitters never win!
Greta, Fathom

Beavis: Oh, man! Boy I'm glad that's over.
Butt-head: Yeah. Check it though, they're not stopping.
Tom Keifer: So what do you think, y'think we got a hit with this one?
Butt-head: [mockingly] "So you think we got a hit? Mwuh wuh buh uhhhh."
[the two girls return and run towards the band]
Beavis: Oh, boy.
Butt-head: Uhhhh.
Beavis: [mockingly] Ohhhh, ah ha ha ha ha! Boy, that was funny!
Butt-head: Uh-oh.
Beavis: Eh ha ha ha! Ohhhhh, they went to Bon Jovi! [mock laughter]
Circle Jerks, I Wanna Destroy You

Beavis: Oh, that's a letter right?

Beavis: One Adam Five, One Adam Five, we have a wild man in a cemetery, repeat, a wild man in a cemetery!
Butt-head: Perpetrator was last seen running around like some kind of butt monkey! Please, uhh...apprehend and stuff.
Beavis: And uh, kick his ass! Yeah, kick him in the nads.

Beavis: Ooh, baby.
Butt-head: Ooh. [Beavis and Butt-head dance] Lenny rules.
Beavis: Yeah, Lemmy does rule. Um, what does Motörhead have to do with what's going on here?
Butt-head: No, butthole, I didn't say Lemmy, I said Lemmy.
Beavis: I think you said Lemmy, Butt-head.
Butt-head: You monkeyspank. [Smacks Beavis again]