Beavis: Is this Romper Room?
Butt-head: Uh, I wouldn't know, Beavis.
Beavis: Oh yeah, me neither, I don't know. I don't know whether this is Romper Room or not.

Beavis: Is this the Benny Hill Show?
Butt-head: No, there aren't any chicks in bikinis.
Beavis: Oh yeah. Hey, this is Primus! [sings] My name is M-M-M-M-M-Mud!
Butt-head: Maybe this guy will spit again.

Beavis: Is this Wilson Phillips?
Butt-head: Yeah. This is back when they were cool.

Beavis: It's this again.
Butt-head: Whoa! Check it out.
Beavis: Oh wow, it's Grim Reaper again. Whoa, look at that big boat.
Butt-head: These videos are funny.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Butt-head: These guys should be on that show The State.
Beavis: Yeah. Because they suck.
[the band members are using a giant battering ram to break down a door]

Beavis: It's a tribute to the people who died in the Vietnam War.
Man in crowd: [outraged] My uncle was killed in the war!

Beavis: It's like, [high-pitched voice] Bobby, I smeared my lipstick when I kissed my finger. Can I borrow some of yours?
Butt-head: You're a little too good at that, Beavis.
[the names of the band members are flashed onscreen]

Beavis: It's like, everybody knows that, y'know, like, death and, like, the graveyard and all that stuff is pretty cool and everything, but it's like, they need to show it in a new way or something.
Butt-head: Yeah, really. it's like, y'know, it's pretty cool that they decided to do a video in a graveyard, y'know, with like, a little crazy dude running around, but it's like, I've already seen it.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Exactly! It's like, I mean, I don't have all the answers, y'know, it's like I probably couldn't do a better job myself, but y'know, I just gotta say, y'know, frankly, um, uh...it's been done! Heh, heh, Frankly.
Butt-head: Frank.
Beavis: Frank? Oh yeah. Frank.
The Cramps, Ultra Twist

Beavis: It's like, I didn't know you could like, rock on the piano.
Butt-head: Yeah, it's like all you need to do is like, y'know, kick the piano and do it with your cousin and, you'll be cool forever.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. Or maybe you could like do it with the piano and kick your cousin! Yeah!
Butt-head: Beavis.
Beavis: Oh, sorry about that.
Life of Agony, This Time

Beavis: It's like, you have to watch TV for hours and hours and hours before you see this video, but it's like, when you do it's all worth it.
Butt-head: It sure is. You know what they should do? They should, like, tell you what time the video's like in TV Guide or something.
Beavis: That would be cool. But then it's like, you'd still have to like, watch for hours and hours and hours until it came on.
Butt-head: No you wouldn't, Beavis! It's like, if they say it's gonna be on like, at eleven o'clock or something, then like, you know when it's gonna be on.
Beavis: Yeah, but like, if it's like, six o'clock, then it's like, you have to keep watching it, because it's not on.
Butt-head: Uhh...oh yeah. Well, at least you what time it's on, though.
Beavis: So, how do you know what time it is?
Butt-head: Uhh, I dunno. I guess you'd have to keep watching until the video came on. Then it's like, you'd know what time it is.
GWAR, Saddam a Go-Go

Beavis: Later on, this guy gets abducted by aliens. Hey Butt-head, do you believe in aliens?
Butt-head: I believe in illegal aliens.
Beavis: I believe in Mexicans.
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis. You're supposed to call them "Hispandex".

Beavis: Look at that guy's poodle hair!
Butt-head: These guys probably, like, went to Super Cuts and said: "Could you just, like, make it more poofy?"
Beavis: Yeah, yeah: "But keep the length! We want it, like, poofy on top, and then long and straight on the sides, yeah. That would look really cool!"
Butt-head: So like, did you ask the barber to make your hair poofy too?
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! My hair's like this naturally. That's how come I'm cool.
Butt-head: No wonder you're such a wuss!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Chicks like it.

Beavis: Look at this dumbass! How come he's the only guy who's wearing make-up?
Butt-head: It's like, him and the band all got together and stuff, and said "OK man, tomorrow, we're gonna wear some really scary scary makeup tomorrow, and it's gonna be really cool. We're gonna kick some ass." But then this dumbass was the only one stupid enough to do it!
Beavis: Yeah. The other dudes were probably like "You put makeup on? You dumbass, we were just joking!"

Beavis: Look! Look!
Butt-head: Yeah. Vanilla Ice.
Beavis: You know, um, they're always, like, putting this guy down and you know, making fun of him and saying he sucks and stuff. But you know, um he really does suck. And this is one of those times where everybody's right. You know what I'm saying?
Butt-head: Are you just trying to say that this sucks, Beavis?
Beavis: Sometimes you have a way with words.

Beavis: Look, Butt-head! Mrs. Higgins' poodle!
Beavis and Butt-head: DOG BASEBALL!!
Butt-head: GET IT!!
[The pair chase the dog as it fades to the end credits, where the dog is heard wimpering]

Beavis: Look, Butt-Head. (pulls out the hedgetrimmer) Say hello to my little friend!