30 Rock quotes
268 total quotesJenna: Jerem! Look how drunk I am and how full of cheese my mouth is!
Jerem: That's not that much cheese.
Jerem: That's not that much cheese.
Jenna: Kenneth, you know how you told Tracy not to go into your bedroom? Well, naturally we assumed you were a serial killer, and as you can imagine, your bird is dead.
Jenna: Oh I can play dead; I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.
Jenna: Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.
Jenna: Second of all, if the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again? It's time for a change, America. That's why I'm voting for Osama in 2008.
Jenna: This is why I hated my first two weeks at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks: No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all.
Jenna: What do you mean I don't have an obituary? I'm Jenna Maroney. I played Arts & Literature in the film adaptation of Trivial Pursuit.
Erica: I know who you are, Miss Maroney, but you're not on the list. They only make obits for people they think are, you know, important.
Jenna: [grabs list and reads] Like who? "Kim Jong-il?" I've never heard of her.
Erica: I know who you are, Miss Maroney, but you're not on the list. They only make obits for people they think are, you know, important.
Jenna: [grabs list and reads] Like who? "Kim Jong-il?" I've never heard of her.
Jenna: Your health insurance will remain in effect until the end... of this sentence.
Jerry Seinfeld: Still talking?
Liz: Oh. No, no no no. I haven't talked to him since... Whew... I dunno... August 9th, four seventeen PM...
Jerry Seinfeld: Mhmm. It's not over.
Liz: Oh no. It's over! I'm over it.
Jerry Seinfeld: No. It's not over until you pick up the phone. You say "I don't love you anymore," they say "I don't love you anymore either." You go "great, I'll pick you up in twenty. Let's grab a scone."
Liz: A scone! Yes! I want that! I'm gonna call him!
Liz: Oh. No, no no no. I haven't talked to him since... Whew... I dunno... August 9th, four seventeen PM...
Jerry Seinfeld: Mhmm. It's not over.
Liz: Oh no. It's over! I'm over it.
Jerry Seinfeld: No. It's not over until you pick up the phone. You say "I don't love you anymore," they say "I don't love you anymore either." You go "great, I'll pick you up in twenty. Let's grab a scone."
Liz: A scone! Yes! I want that! I'm gonna call him!
Jonathan: Sir, a Mr. Adouche is on the phone? I. M. Adouche.
Jack: I am a douche? [winces] Banks!! [picks up phone] What do you want?
Devon: Did you say it?
Jack: No, I knew right away.
Jack: I am a douche? [winces] Banks!! [picks up phone] What do you want?
Devon: Did you say it?
Jack: No, I knew right away.
Josh: Cerie said she would do it with you.
Kenneth: Well that just makes me perspire.
Kenneth: Well that just makes me perspire.
Kaylee: Mr. Donaghy! What are you doing here?
Jack: I could ask you the same thing! But it would make no sense.
Jack: I could ask you the same thing! But it would make no sense.
Kaylee: The ocean is for tools.
Jack: The ocean is awesome and for winners. You're for tools!
Jack: The ocean is awesome and for winners. You're for tools!