Jack: [to Liz] I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.

Tracy: Yeah yeah yeah, I like risky. See, me and you, we play the game. We know how to be acceptable. Hello great meeting, I drink coffee please. This show is our chance to break the shackles cause the white dudes want to see us fail.
Liz: What white dudes?
Tracy: All of 'em. Jack Donaghy. General Electric. George Bush. Karl Robe.
Liz: Karl Robe, you say?
Tracy: Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor.
Liz: Sure.

[Jenna and Liz are discussing actor Tracy Jordan.]
Liz: How you doin'?
Jenna: There is no way that I am working with that guy. Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia?
Liz: Yeah.
Jenna: And that he once fell asleep on Ted Danson's roof?
Liz: Yeah, Tracy has mental health issues.
Jenna: He bit Dakota Fanning on the face.
Liz: When you hear his version, she was kinda askin' for it.

Tracy: So, how you doing over there, Theo Huxtable.
Toofer: I'm doing good.
Tracy: Nah-uh. Superman does good; you're doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.
[Tracy leaves the room.]
Frank: [to Toofer] Wow, that was embarrassing for you.

Liz: Kenneth, why did you bet that terrible hand?
Kenneth: Why? Because I believe life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And also, people were yelling and I got confused about the rules.

Liz: [about Kenneth] Well, it was nice of you to let him keep his job.
Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct. In five years we'll all either be working for him... [Kenneth happily bikes away] or be dead by his hand.

Tracy: But I want you to know something... You and me, it's not gonna be a one-way street. 'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I'm driving.
Kenneth: Oh, okay.
Tracy: So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.

Tracy: Dress every day like you're going to get murdered in those clothes.

Pete: So, first you thought he was illiterate and now you think he's lazy? Liz, you are racist.
Liz: No, Tracy took advantage of my white guilt, which is supposed to be used only for good, like over-tipping and supporting Barack Obama.

[Jack in an internal GE training video being shown to the writers.]
Jack: All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or "POS-MENS" of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE's direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.

Dennis: Hi. Dennis Duffy, Beeper King.
Jack: The Beeper King, really?
Liz: Dennis has his own business. Yes, he's an entrepreneur. He's very successful.
Dennis: You've probably seen my ads on the seven train, right?
Jack: I didn't know they served chicken nuggets at this restaurant.
Liz: It's cod, it's uh, they made it special. Dennis has some dietary restrictions.
Dennis: Actually, I'm allergic to all fish unless it's fried, you know.
Jack: That's a sharp tie you've got there, Dennis.
Dennis: That douchebag up front made me wear it.
Jack: Does he know you're the Beeper King?
Dennis: I don't think so.
Liz: Anyway, thanks for the hook-up. This is clearly the nicest restaurant we've ever been to.
Dennis: Hold on a second, this place ain't that nice, alright. It's got rats and roaches like every other restaurant.
Liz: No rat talk tonight, okay.
Dennis: [to Jack] You know there are 17 rats per person in Manhattan. You eat a pound of rat crap every year without even knowing it, huh?
Jack: I think I read about that in The New Yorker. [pause] Um, anyway, we'll leave you two to your meal. I hope you enjoy the choices that you've made.

Tracy: I need to protect my reputation. You take away my street cred, and I am Wayne Brady.
Liz: Nuh-uh. Wayne Brady has three Emmys. You have a People's Choice Award that you stole from Wayne Brady.

Jack: Conan, Tracy's really excited to be back on your show.
Conan: I don't know. He's kind of a loose cannon, and I like to surround myself with people who don't try to stab me.
Jack: Well, Tracy's feeling a lot better now. He's under a doctor's care.
Conan: That's what they said about Hasselhoff, then he tried to make out with me during a commercial break.
Jack: Conan, this is important to me. So, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way.
Conan: What's the hard way?
Jack: You do a live Christmas Eve special from Kabul every year until the War on Terror is won.
Conan: Tell Tracy I'll see him tonight, you Black Irish bastard.
Jack: Back at you, Red.

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

Tracy Jordan in drag talking with Frank Rossitano
Frank: Yeah it's pretty good but I think the boobs should swing more.
Tracy: Yeah then I could go "Rodney, don't make me come over there and beat you in the head with one of my boom booms."