30 Rock quotes
268 total quotesJack: Extracting an American from North Korea is a, ah, is a lot more difficult than arranging a round robin paddle tennis tournament.
Diana: What about arranging three round robin paddle tennis tournaments?
Diana: What about arranging three round robin paddle tennis tournaments?
Jack: Good God, Lemon, your breath! When did you find time to eat a diaper you found on the beach?
Jack: Good God. Lemon, those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.
Jack: He built GE into the greatest company on Earth, and the Earth into one of the top three planets in the universe!
Tracy: It's like a black barbie doll in Arizona - nobody's buying it!
Tracy: It's like a black barbie doll in Arizona - nobody's buying it!
Jack: I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club, and you take that problem and crush it with your mind vise. But for lesser beings like curly-haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.
Jack: I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that's some signal in Chelsea.
Jack: I just need him awake for a few minutes, can't you... inject something directly into his heart?
Dr. Spaceman: Oh, I'd like nothing better. Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing where the heart is. See, every human is different.
Dr. Spaceman: Oh, I'd like nothing better. Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing where the heart is. See, every human is different.
Jack: I like you, Kenneth, but you do not want to mess with me right now. I am in the middle of a RAGING PERIOD... of economic turmoil.
Jack: i love you mother and i dont want you to die.
Coleen: im not going to, jackie.
Coleen: im not going to, jackie.
Jack: I only pass gas once a year, for an hour, atop a mountain in Switzerland.
Jack: I want back all the jewelry I ever bought you.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want the art supplies I gave you on your fortieth birthday and any subsequent art projects you made with them.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want all of our love letters.
Bianca: [laughing] Fine.
Jack: I want all of your parents' love letters.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want full stake in the Arby's franchise we bought outside of Telluride.
Bianca: Oh, dammit Johnny, you know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want the art supplies I gave you on your fortieth birthday and any subsequent art projects you made with them.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want all of our love letters.
Bianca: [laughing] Fine.
Jack: I want all of your parents' love letters.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want full stake in the Arby's franchise we bought outside of Telluride.
Bianca: Oh, dammit Johnny, you know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar.
Jack: I wanted to talk to you about our corporate "Bottoms-Up Day." Once a year all the senior V.P.s spend one day doing the job of one of our lowest level employees. This year I'll be a page for a day and you'll be my boss.
Kenneth: Thank you, sir!
Jack: That's how the "Bottoms-Up" program works. I'm going to be your bottom, Kenneth, and I want you to ride me as hard as you can.
Kenneth: Thank you, sir!
Jack: That's how the "Bottoms-Up" program works. I'm going to be your bottom, Kenneth, and I want you to ride me as hard as you can.
Jack: I'm not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.
Jack: I've asked Tracy to join me at G.E. Golf tournament in Connecticut.
Liz: Was Courtney Love not available?
Liz: Was Courtney Love not available?
Jack: I've spent the better part of the last 3 years developing a portable, miniature microwave oven. Most of that time has been spent coming up with a hip, edgy name for the product, something that will appeal to the marketing Holy Trinity - college students, the morbidly obese, and homosexuals.