Tracy: Jenna, we're the most important people here, right?
Jenna: Well, of course, Tracy. We're actors. If we didn't exist how would people know who to vote for?

Tracy: Oh check this out! My key to the city of Gary, Indiana. Mmmm, look at this! My gold record from my novelty party song!
["Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" Music video]
Tracy: [singing, dressed up as a werewolf] Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary. Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.

Tracy: Orange and black decorations? Is this Halloween, or Princeton Parents' weekend? I don't know whether to be scared or proud of my cousin...
Kenneth: It's Halloween, sir.
Tracy: Proud it is.

Tracy: So GE will produce the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine?
Jack: Oh no, no. GE could never make something so... unique. We'll have to pass this off to one of our subsidiaries. [Jack rolls down a complex organizational chart] You see, GE owns KitchenAll of Colorado, which in turn owns JMI of Stamford which is a majority shareholder of Pokerfastlane.com which recently acquired the Sheinhardt Wig Company which owns NBC outright. NBC owns Winnipeg Iron Works which owns the AHP Chanagi Party Meats company of Pyongyang, North Korea, and they will make the Meat Machine.

Tracy: So what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz: I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.

Tracy: So, how you doing over there, Theo Huxtable.
Toofer: I'm doing good.
Tracy: Nah-uh. Superman does good; you're doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.
[Tracy leaves the room.]
Frank: [to Toofer] Wow, that was embarrassing for you.

Tracy: They do that a lot in movies: An Affair to Remember, Sleepless in Seattle, and that remake of An Affair to Remember that I was in, A Blaffair to Rememblack.

Tracy: This is probably some Hollywood prank. Like on the set of Ocean's 12 when I put that snake in George Clooney's bed. I was not in the movie.

Tracy: This is untoward! This is not toward!

Tracy: What everyone needs to do is calm down, take a deep breath, and prepare their bodies for the Thunderdome. That is the new law.

Tracy: What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
Liz: That is solid.

Tracy: What made you change your mind?
Jack: Tracy Jr. made you an acrostic.
Tracy: Well, I hope he made me an acrosse helmet so I don't get hurt playing acrosse! [seeing Jack's confused stare] Now come on, that's pretty solid for a guy who just came out of an hallucination.

Tracy: Why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays? I'll tell you why: it's because the Pope owns Long John Silver's.

Tracy: Wow, Jay Mo. You sound like a cop. And I should know. My uncle was a cop. In a porno.
Jenna: Tracy, every blond actress in the business has done a pilot about a tough but pretty lady cop with special abilities. Mine was called Good Looking. I played Alexis Goodlooking, who was also good looking, and my special ability was being good at looking for clues.

Tracy: Yeah yeah yeah, I like risky. See, me and you, we play the game. We know how to be acceptable. Hello great meeting, I drink coffee please. This show is our chance to break the shackles cause the white dudes want to see us fail.
Liz: What white dudes?
Tracy: All of 'em. Jack Donaghy. General Electric. George Bush. Karl Robe.
Liz: Karl Robe, you say?
Tracy: Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor.
Liz: Sure.