30 Rock quotes
268 total quotesWesley: I don't want to go back to England. I can't suffer through the London Olympics -- we're not prepared, Liz. Did you see the Beijing Opening Ceremonies? We don't have control over our people like that!
Wesley: So does this mean you've come to your senses? Are you ready to settle, and become Mrs. Snipes?
Liz: No. I wanted to tell you to your face that I know that I can do better than you. And I'm never going to be Mrs. Snipes. [beat] Hang on, is your name Wesley Snipes? That is insane.
Wesley: [annoyed] It's insane that the actor Wesley Snipes has that name! Look. If you saw a picture of him, and a picture of me, and you were asked "Who should be named *Wesley* *Snipes*?" You'd pick the stuffy Englishman every time! Every time, Liz!
Liz: No. I wanted to tell you to your face that I know that I can do better than you. And I'm never going to be Mrs. Snipes. [beat] Hang on, is your name Wesley Snipes? That is insane.
Wesley: [annoyed] It's insane that the actor Wesley Snipes has that name! Look. If you saw a picture of him, and a picture of me, and you were asked "Who should be named *Wesley* *Snipes*?" You'd pick the stuffy Englishman every time! Every time, Liz!
Wesley: Fine, it's your loss. There's only one Wesley Snipes in the world.
Liz: You know there isn't!
Wesley: Ugh!
Season 5
Liz: You know there isn't!
Wesley: Ugh!
Season 5
Tracy Jordan in drag talking with Frank Rossitano
Frank: Yeah it's pretty good but I think the boobs should swing more.
Tracy: Yeah then I could go "Rodney, don't make me come over there and beat you in the head with one of my boom booms."
Frank: Yeah it's pretty good but I think the boobs should swing more.
Tracy: Yeah then I could go "Rodney, don't make me come over there and beat you in the head with one of my boom booms."
[A waitress brings Jack, Liz, Tracy and Jenna food]
Jenna: What is this?
Liz: Alright, Cheesy Blasters! [sings] You take a hotdog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza - You got Cheesy Blasters! [spoken] And then all the kids say "Thanks, Meat Cat!" and Meat Cat flies away on his, um, skate board.
Jenna: What is this?
Liz: Alright, Cheesy Blasters! [sings] You take a hotdog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza - You got Cheesy Blasters! [spoken] And then all the kids say "Thanks, Meat Cat!" and Meat Cat flies away on his, um, skate board.
[attempting to explain the word used to insult her]
Liz: It rhymes with your favorite Todd Rundgren album.
Frank: It rhymes with Hermit of Mink Hollow?
Liz: It rhymes with your favorite Todd Rundgren album.
Frank: It rhymes with Hermit of Mink Hollow?
[Cerie is holding the refrigerator open]
Greenzo: Here's a tip, Cerie. Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator. You just released enough hydrofluorocarbons to kill a penguin. [pulls out a picture] This penguin!
Frank: You ever take off that costume?
Greenzo: You ever take off yours? Greenzo, out.
Cerie: Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?
Greenzo: Here's a tip, Cerie. Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator. You just released enough hydrofluorocarbons to kill a penguin. [pulls out a picture] This penguin!
Frank: You ever take off that costume?
Greenzo: You ever take off yours? Greenzo, out.
Cerie: Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?
[Jack in an internal GE training video being shown to the writers.]
Jack: All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or "POS-MENS" of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE's direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.
Jack: All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or "POS-MENS" of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE's direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.
[Jack, who has traded jobs with Kenneth, has bought Josh the wrong salad]
Josh: Oh, no! Dude, is this spinach?
Jack: Yes. You asked for [pulls out a sheet of paper] one spinach salad.
Josh: Actually, I wanted the stuff that comes on the spinach salad, but I wanted it with romaine.
Jack: Should I take it back?
Josh: I'm supposed to treat you like Kenneth, right?
Jack: That is correct.
Josh: [angrily] Well then yeah, genius, get me a new salad. Or, get me a time machine so I can go back and smack your mom for smoking crack while she was pregnant! [to Kenneth, who is standing in the doorway] Too much?
Kenneth: No, that's usually how it goes.
Josh: Oh, no! Dude, is this spinach?
Jack: Yes. You asked for [pulls out a sheet of paper] one spinach salad.
Josh: Actually, I wanted the stuff that comes on the spinach salad, but I wanted it with romaine.
Jack: Should I take it back?
Josh: I'm supposed to treat you like Kenneth, right?
Jack: That is correct.
Josh: [angrily] Well then yeah, genius, get me a new salad. Or, get me a time machine so I can go back and smack your mom for smoking crack while she was pregnant! [to Kenneth, who is standing in the doorway] Too much?
Kenneth: No, that's usually how it goes.
[Jenna and Liz are discussing actor Tracy Jordan.]
Liz: How you doin'?
Jenna: There is no way that I am working with that guy. Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia?
Liz: Yeah.
Jenna: And that he once fell asleep on Ted Danson's roof?
Liz: Yeah, Tracy has mental health issues.
Jenna: He bit Dakota Fanning on the face.
Liz: When you hear his version, she was kinda askin' for it.
Liz: How you doin'?
Jenna: There is no way that I am working with that guy. Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia?
Liz: Yeah.
Jenna: And that he once fell asleep on Ted Danson's roof?
Liz: Yeah, Tracy has mental health issues.
Jenna: He bit Dakota Fanning on the face.
Liz: When you hear his version, she was kinda askin' for it.
[Liz enters a room and stands behind Jack]
Jack: You've been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz: How do you do that without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but... here we are.
Jack: You've been avoiding me, Lemon.
Liz: How do you do that without turning around?
Jack: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but... here we are.
[Man walks up to Liz at the bar]
Gentleman:Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Liz: [sighs] Really, dude? I got to move my coat? There are like four empty seats over there - can't you just be cool?
[Man leaves]
Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
Liz: Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
Gentleman:Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Liz: [sighs] Really, dude? I got to move my coat? There are like four empty seats over there - can't you just be cool?
[Man leaves]
Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
Liz: Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
[On the phone]
Tracy: Parties are like frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction, and then your kid will fall into a quarry.
Liz: What?
Tracy: Don't throw a party for vengence. It will turn on you... like your wife, after your kid has fallen into a quarry.
Tracy: Parties are like frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction, and then your kid will fall into a quarry.
Liz: What?
Tracy: Don't throw a party for vengence. It will turn on you... like your wife, after your kid has fallen into a quarry.