Will & Grace quotes
0 total quotesWill: So, Karen, on this, the centennial of your birth, Jack wants me to wish you a happy birthday. I hope all your wishes come true. And when you do become Satan's mistress, don't you forget the little people.
Will: Thank God she hasn't broken out the slides yet.
Jack: Ohh, thank God is right!
Will: You know about the slides?
Jack: No, I just assumed it had something to do with her womanity, so I thought we'd just skate right past it.
Will: No. Slides of Grace as a kid. Whenever she hits a real low point, she breaks out the slide projector and spends a few days trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
Jack: I'd say it was the day she became a gay man and fell in love with you.
Jack: Ohh, thank God is right!
Will: You know about the slides?
Jack: No, I just assumed it had something to do with her womanity, so I thought we'd just skate right past it.
Will: No. Slides of Grace as a kid. Whenever she hits a real low point, she breaks out the slide projector and spends a few days trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
Jack: I'd say it was the day she became a gay man and fell in love with you.
Zandra: This better be good. You're taking time away from my slow, agonizing march toward death.
[Grace is showing slides of herself]
Grace: This is me as a little girl. Look at that big, goofy smile. STUPID IDIOT, OPEN YOUR EYES, NO ONE'S EVER GONNA LOVE YOU!!
Grace: This is me as a little girl. Look at that big, goofy smile. STUPID IDIOT, OPEN YOUR EYES, NO ONE'S EVER GONNA LOVE YOU!!
[Jack is trying to find out whether his new singing partner, Owen, is really gay]
Jack: Why don't we start with some vocal exercises. What gym do you go to? Why haven't I seen you in the clubs? And who have we slept with in common?
Owen: I work out at home. I'm allergic to smoke. And I'm in a long-term relationship with my high school boyfriend.
Jack: Name?
Owen: Ben.
Jack: I know him.
Owen: No, you don't.
Jack: How do you know?
Owen: He told me you don't.
Jack: Why don't we start with some vocal exercises. What gym do you go to? Why haven't I seen you in the clubs? And who have we slept with in common?
Owen: I work out at home. I'm allergic to smoke. And I'm in a long-term relationship with my high school boyfriend.
Jack: Name?
Owen: Ben.
Jack: I know him.
Owen: No, you don't.
Jack: How do you know?
Owen: He told me you don't.
[Karen is showing Jack a card trick.]
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up a card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: I can't remember.
Karen: Ta-da!
Jack: That is so freaky, Karen. How did you do that?
Karen: Oh, sorry, honey. A magician, like a prostitute, never reveals her tricks.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up a card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: No.
Karen: Is this your card? [Holds up another card]
Jack: I can't remember.
Karen: Ta-da!
Jack: That is so freaky, Karen. How did you do that?
Karen: Oh, sorry, honey. A magician, like a prostitute, never reveals her tricks.