Jack: Got anything written on your freakishly tinier boob?
Karen: It's only smaller when its scared.

Jack:...but when we get to Saint Bart's I swear I'm taking an EPT, and if it's blue I am not going through this alone!... again![1]

Karen: Beverley Leslie, with your pants so tight, won't you be my partner tonight?
Beverly: Ooh, I would be honored.
Leo: You think we can take 'em?
Grace: Please. Between the two of us, we've got eight feet on them.

Karen: Hey, Wilma, I need your help! Remember Loraine Finster, the dame who stole my husband and tried to bump me off? Well, I think I found her, a private dick said he dug up an "L. Finster" at the Hotel Kickerbocker. Come on, let's go down there and give her what-for!
Will: As much as I'd love to put on a trenchcoat and look for your grip on reality, I can't. I've got to take care of Mom.
Karen: Oh, how sweet, a gay man living with his mother..would you like me to pre-heat the oven or do you want to just jump right in?

Karen: I hate Leo. Yeah.
Grace: What?
Karen: Yep. Hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. He's dull, he's ugly and he don't make me laugh.

Karen: I like you. Wanna make out?
Diane: I like you too, lets see where the evening goes...

Leo: So, you and Will...
Diane: Yep, me and Will...
Leo: And, uh, me and you...
Diane: Yep, me and you...and maybe later me and Karen!

Maralyn: Oh, hello, Karen. You know, I took your advice about overcoming pain with visualisation, I'm going to throw these painkillers away.
Karen: Oh, I'll throw them away for you, yep, right in the ol' trashcan. (tossing the pills down her her throat)

[After a gay spelling bee.]
Jack: The other guy couldn't get "erect"... I, however, could.

[Diane, who has slept with both Will and Leo, says that will was better in bed]
Leo: What do you mean, Will was better? He couldn't find a g-spot with Yahoo! Maps.
Karen and Jack: YAHOOOO!