Karen: Honey, did you try Balthazar?
Grace: Karen, Steak & Brew are spitting at me through the phone. How would I get a table there?
Karen: Oh, Grace, I am your assistant. Now, I may not be a whiz at the...[points]
Grace: Computer.
Karen: Or know how to work the...[points]
Grace: Fax.
Karen: But, honey, I do know how to get where I need to be. Now hand me the--
Grace: Phone.
Karen: Well, honey, I would have gotten that one.

Karen: Honey, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?

Karen: Honey, I can't go. I have a home, a husband and three beautiful stepchil -- No, wait. Two. Two beautiful stepchildren. Sorry. Yeah. Olivia and...
Jack: Mason?
Karen: Honey, I was getting there.

Karen: Honey, love you like a cold sore!
Season 3

Karen: Honey, Stan can't make it. He's having some work done on his Mercedes. Or his... kidneys... I wasn't really paying attention.

Karen: Honey, you say potato, I say vodka.

Karen: I hate Leo. Yeah.
Grace: What?
Karen: Yep. Hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. He's dull, he's ugly and he don't make me laugh.

Karen: I like you. Wanna make out?
Diane: I like you too, lets see where the evening goes...

Karen: I'll never forget it. My fellow office workers and I were heading down to lunch, and, suddenly... The lights went out, the elevator dropped, and... Dennis Hopper said he would kill us all if his demands weren't met. I thank God Keanu Reeves was there to get us out. [cries.]
Jack: Karen, that wasn't you, that was the opening scene of Speed!
Karen: Oh. You know, that movie was not at all what was advertised. You think you're going to see a feel-good movie about amphetamines, and, suddenly, you're on a bus? Wh-- ?

Karen: I've got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet!

Karen: Knock-knock. Anybody homo?
Jack: I am, I am!

Karen: Listen, there is nothing wrong with listening to Nathan and Grace have sex. It's a victim-less crime. Like tax evasion or public indecency.
Jack: Yah, or like when a bartender doesn't notice his tip, you can slide it in front of you and leave it as your own.
Karen: Oh great example honey! You are so quick! Like lightning.
Will: That's a terrible example.
Karen: Ohh, I think somebody just mad because somebody didn't think of it first.

Karen: My mother is a con artist, okay? I send her a check once a month to keep her out of my hair. Yeah, my entire childhood was spent traveling with her from town to town, running scams on people. Never settling down. Just when I'd make a friend, have 'em over for milk and cookies... Bam! It was time to move on.
Jack: Karen, that's shocking. You drank milk?
Karen: The last town we lived in, I fell in love with a boy. Heh. He had long blond hair, delicate features, soft skin... At least, I think it was a boy. Well, anyway, I was in love. And he or she loved me. Until my mom scammed her, too. Then he left me. That was when I left home and never looked back.
Jack: Karen, this isn't something you can run away from. It's not like a hotel bill or a crying baby.

Karen: Oh, before I forget, I just wanted to give you a little extra sparkle. I had to Heimlich it out of Rosario's stomach right before I came over here.
Grace: Oh my God. I'm speechless. I don't know what to say, I'd say something if I weren't so speechless, but I'm speechless so I don't know what to say.
Karen: Oh zip it, it's a loan. Now listen to me. You got 250 on each ear, 500 G's on the wrist, and a cold 7 on the chest. It would take you, your mom and your grandma an entire lifetime of turning tricks at the plaza to get even 1/2 way there. Lose even one and you're dead.

Karen: Oh, honey. You have a dream. You know, I had a dream too. To be rich and beautiful and have a great body. Oh, look, my dream came true!