Titus quotes
82 total quotes[Titus has shrieked after having his shoulder re-located]
Dave: Titus, this place is freaking me out. Did you just hear that little girl scream?
Titus: [scoffing] Yeah, what's her deal?
Dave: Titus, this place is freaking me out. Did you just hear that little girl scream?
Titus: [scoffing] Yeah, what's her deal?
[Titus is facing off against Shannon's husband Stefan.]
Titus: Dad, what are we, German-Irish?
Ken: White. That's all that matters.
Erin: [offended] Papa Titus!
Ken: In society's eyes, I'm saying!
Titus: Dad, what are we, German-Irish?
Ken: White. That's all that matters.
Erin: [offended] Papa Titus!
Ken: In society's eyes, I'm saying!
[Titus is showing Kathy the video of Ken's drunk driving arrest.]
Titus: Has anyone ever seen a cop that pissed off?
[Dave proudly raises his hand.]
Titus: Besides Dave?
Titus: Has anyone ever seen a cop that pissed off?
[Dave proudly raises his hand.]
Titus: Besides Dave?
[Titus learns that Erin has been working as a waitress in a strip club.]
Titus: Why didn't you drag her out of there?
Ken: You don't drag a woman out of a strip club! You put a twenty in your zipper and you back out, slowly.
Titus: Why didn't you drag her out of there?
Ken: You don't drag a woman out of a strip club! You put a twenty in your zipper and you back out, slowly.
[Tommy has misinterpreted Titus' instructions about running into an ex-girlfriend.]
Tommy: You said make it look like an accident!
Titus: [incredulous] Not a car accident! Who are you? Dave?
Dave: Yeah, dumbass.
Tommy: You said make it look like an accident!
Titus: [incredulous] Not a car accident! Who are you? Dave?
Dave: Yeah, dumbass.
[Tommy has used the words "daquilicious" and "skosh" in conversation.]
Tommy: Oh, my God. "Daquilicious." "Skosh." I'm a homo!
Titus: *spit-take*
Tommy: Oh, my God. "Daquilicious." "Skosh." I'm a homo!
Titus: *spit-take*
[Tommy's gay father, Perry, shows up.]
Ken: Shouldn't you be out there dancing with the construction worker, the cop, and the Indian?
Ken: Shouldn't you be out there dancing with the construction worker, the cop, and the Indian?