The Office (US) quotes

370 total quotes



Pam: There is a spare key, and a master key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked "What if you die, Dwight, how will we get into the office?", he said "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."

Ryan: Do you have a question, Kelly?
Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?

Stanley: Find anything?
Kevin: I think it's a straight-forward kidnapping.
Oscar: Stanley, could you look up "accomplices"?
Stanley: Can't you guys do it?
Oscar: 'Cause we're looking up "jail time".

Stanley: It's like I used to tell my wife: I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I'll say it to my next one, too.

[Michael and Dwight discuss Holly, Toby's replacement]
Dwight: So what do we know about her?
Michael: Well, we know that Toby thinks she'll be great. So strike one, I hate her already.
Dwight: I hate her, too.
Michael: Why do you hate her?
Dwight: Because she... stinks. With her... ways. And her... head.
Michael: You know Dwight, sometimes... I dunno, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Dwight: Would that be such a bad thing?
Michael: Yeah, it would! Just have a thought! Have an original thought! Although I will agree that her head is weird.