Jane: Make much money, playing the keyboards?
Keith Gulbrand: No, but I'm not in it for the money. You know, music is a...it's a spiritual thing.
Jane: Yeah, it is. So is money. Everything that exists has a spiritual essence. Or not at all.

Jane: Must be tough being Cody Elkins' little brother.
Brad: No. Well, yeah, sometimes.
Jane: Me? I'd hate it. He gets all the attention, the glory, the girls flocking around, for what? For running and jumping and catching a thing?
Brad: Yeah, monkeys could do that.
Jane: Yeah.
Brad: Monkeys could do it better.
Jane: You know, if monkeys played football, they would kick some serious jock butt.

Jane: Nice cradling.
Travis: Play lacrosse?
Jane: No. Fast moving sticks scare me.

Jane: Nice to be nice. But if you wanna get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.
Van Pelt: Gee, thanks.

Jane: No such thing as psychic powers.
Sheriff McAllister: So what is it you do exactly?
Jane: You know rock paper scissors?
Sheriff McAllister: I do.
Jane: Play me. On three; one, two, three.
[Jane wins six consecutive games]

Jane: Now I have access to all your innermost thoughts.
Lisbon: Yeah, right.
Jane: I'm serious.
Lisbon: Okay. So what am I thinking right now?
Jane: You're thinking, I'm so glad Jane is joking around and he can't actually read my mind.
Lisbon: No. Well, actually, yes, but not for the reason you think.
Jane: What reason do I think?
Lisbon: Never you mind.
Rigsby: You're blushing.
Jane: You are blushing.

Jane: Oh, and thank you.
Lisbon: For what?
Jane: For just letting us play it out like this.
Lisbon: Nah. We would have had to let her go on the murder charge anyway. Nothing to keep her on until we get proof. Besides, this is a simple plan. It's when you start getting costumes and props that I get nervous.

Jane: Oh, Mitch, I thought we'd worked through your doormat issues. [To Lisbon] Tell Cho to squeeze him a little, he knows things.
Mitch: No, I don't.
Jane: Sure you do, Mitch.
Lisbon: You're not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.

Jane: Oh, please don't look at each other like that.
Lisbon: Like what? You can't see.
Jane: I can feel. I can feel your pity.

Jane: Really, you don't trust me?
Lisbon: Of course not. How many times have you lied to me, misled me, tricked me? Is that trust? No.
Jane: Well, we have to remedy this. Let's do a trust fall.
Lisbon: A trust fall?
Jane: Yeah. I'm sure you did one on your CBI retreat. It's when you turn around and fall backward, and I catch you.
Lisbon: Oh, yes, we did do that.
Jane: Mm-hmmm.
Lisbon: No.
Jane: You won't?
Lisbon: We have a long drive still.
Jane: Ah. Here we have two co-workers recognizing the boundaries of their professional relationship. See, you want to trust me, but there's something holding you back.
Lisbon: Yes. You're untrustworthy. It's my job not to trust you.
Jane: Lisbon, I want you to know that you can trust me. No matter what happens, I will be there for you. I will. I need you to know that.

Jane: Relax. No such thing as witches.
Cho: [to himself] Yeah, it's easy for you to say. Weird witch-lady didn't burn you an effigy and bind you to her power.

Jane: So you have done some research on me.
Kristina: I have now. Red John murdered your family. I'm very sorry for your loss. Is that why you gave up your calling?
Jane: Calling? Is that what this is?
Kristina: Yeah. Calling, gift, as you like. There's no doubt that you have it. Why did you give it up?
Jane: It's the suits. Chafing. Horrible.

Jane: Tamzin, the goddess may give you solace and hope and meaning in your life. But she can't protect you from those policemen out there.

Jane: Tell me, of the men on this search party, which one would you guess is a violent sexual predator?
Sheriff Nelson: What kind of question is--
Jane: [Interrupting] Who's name just popped into your head? Someone's did. There's always someone.
Sheriff Nelson: This is your method? Asking people to guess who done it? Strange kind of detective work you guys do.

Jane: Thanks for your time, Mr. Battaglia. See you later.
Sonny Battaglia: Hey, wait a minute. I'm not finished talking with you yet.
Jane: I'm finished talking with you.
Sonny Battaglia: What are you, Al Pacino all of a sudden? People don't act that way with me.
Jane: I do when there's witnesses around.
Sonny Battaglia: What are we gonna do with this guy? He's got a screw loose.
Jane: You think you have a certain charm about you, and you do, but you live by oppression. In reality you're just a greedy, twisted little sadist.
Sonny Battaglia: Hey, screw you blondie. You're lucky you helped me beat Arnold Palmer here or I'd plug you right now. To hell with the witnesses.
[Jane just waves at him]