Jane: That urge you have to get one over on people, the need to be smarter than the next guy? It'll keep biting you on the ass.
Brooke Harper: So my butt'll hurt occasionally. I'll still be smarter than the next guy.

Jane: The law's the law. My desire for revenge doesn't outweigh the rules. I have to accept that.
Minelli: I'm glad you understand.
Jane: Thanks for your time.
[Jane exits]
Minelli: He's lying through his teeth, isn't he?
Lisbon: Yes.

Jane: The widow's not a true blonde. She's naturally dark.
Lisbon: And what?
Jane: And her hair's colored and styled to look like Sophie, only younger. She was a brunette when I knew her.
Lisbon: So Nelson was a control freak like you said.
Jane: A control freak with a serious thing for getting his women to dye their hair blonde.
Lisbon: Kerry Sheenan has roots.
Jane: Yes, she does.
Lisbon: Sheenan and Alex Nelson were having an affair.
Jane: Bravo!

Jane: There's something on this side of the room you don't want us to find. What is that?
Natalie: Nothing. There's nothing.
Jane: Look me in the eye and say that.
Natalie: Whatever. Search all you want.
Jane: Nah. Too much stuff. Not very tidy. Good in bed, I expect, yeah? Messy women make good lovers.

Jane: They should wait 10 minutes, then go in.
Lisbon: Why wait?
Jane: Let the plot develop, let the fruit ripen, let the yeast rise, etcetera.

Jane: This blind thing really works. Without my vision, I can tune into my other senses much more clearly.
Lisbon: That's great. Let me go make you a superhero costume. What do you want to be called?
[Jane puts his hand on her shoulder, and feels up the side of her neck]
Lisbon: What are you doing?
Jane: I wanna know what your face feels like when you're smiling.

Jane: Wait. I think we should wait.
Lisbon: What for? What could possibly happen?
Jane: I have no idea, but it's a pleasant spot, and I have sandwiches.

Jane: We should talk to the Carnelian executives again. Throw a cat among the pigeons.
Lisbon: You think? Why?
Jane: What if this is not what it looks like it's about. What if it's something else entirely.
Lisbon: Like?
Jane: I don't know.
Lisbon: So you're suggesting we throw a blind cat among the pigeons?
Jane: Yeah.
Lisbon: No.
[Jane laughs and leaves her office]

Jane: We've never discussed this because I thought it went without saying, but when I catch Red John, I'm gonna cut him open and watch him die slowly like he did with my wife and child. [Lisbon just stares at him quietly] If you have a problem with that, we should talk.
Lisbon: Then let's talk. Because when we catch Red John, we are gonna take him into custody and he's gonna be tried in a court of law.
Jane: Not if I'm still breathing.
Lisbon: If you try and do violence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.
Jane: I understand.
Lisbon: I hope so.
Jane: Well, I'm glad we talked. I had no idea you were so bourgeois and conventional on the issue.

Jane: What is it that first attracted you to your husband? Not his looks.
Felicia Scott: Oh, really?
Jane: Yeah, really. He's not your type.
Felicia Scott: And what is my type?
Jane: Oh, ah, sporty bad boys with a hidden masochistic streak.
Felicia Scott: Aha.
Jane: Not too bright.
Felicia Scott: Not even close.
Jane: No, that was a bull's eye.

Jane: When was the last time you saw a doctor's handwriting you could read?
Lisbon: So she's precise. Is that what you're implying?
Jane: Yes, and the possibility that Dr. Brooke Harper is not a doctor.
Lisbon: Because she has penmanship skills?
Jane: And she doesn't have that cold, creepy, doctor-y vibe they all have.

Jane: Where is it?
Lisbon: Mojave Desert. Middle of nowhere. Quarter of a mile from the highway.
Jane: Interesting.
Lisbon: Boring. Three hours away.
Jane: Desert's beautiful this time of year. Let's all go. We can bring a picnic lunch.
Lisbon: Someone has to stay and answer the phones.
[Grace sits down at her desk, disappointed as everyone else leaves the room]

Jane: Who's Zachariah?
Mr. Maclean: Who?
Jane: Zachariah?
Mr. Maclean: Never heard of him. Who is he?
Jane: Liar.
Mr. Maclean: Liar?
Jane: Pants on fire. They're ablaze.
Mr. Maclean: I wanna cooperate with you people, but this man is trying to...I don't know what he's trying to do, but I resent it.

Jane: Witches have the power of telekinesis. She says that she has a spell, which will raise the weapon from wherever it's been concealed, and reveal itself to us.
Michael: And you believe this evil crap?
Jane: Well, you never can tell. We're going to give it a whirl.

Jane: Yeah, I went through a rough patch. Did a little time in a hospital. Sophie helped me through that time.
Lisbon: It's not on your record.
Jane: No. Believe me, I...it's not easy to do. I know there's nothing shameful about having a breakdown, but I gotta confess, I am ashamed of it.
Lisbon: Thank you for being so honest with me.
Jane: Sorry I kept it from you.