Patrick: He irks me. He's irksome.

Lisbon: [on the phone with Jane] Hey. So, you might be right about this case. Might be. Thanks for the insight...no, did I say that? I'm acknowledging the fact that you might be right, that's all. I mean, if you wanted to come back, I couldn't stop you...yeah, fine, I'm asking you to come back...because...because you're useful to the team...no. No, I won't say "please". Go screw yourself. [Lisbon hangs up] Jackass.
[Jane walks into the room]

Dr. Linus Wagner: Why is it you can't sleep?
Jane: Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor.
Dr. Linus Wagner: You don't like talking to a doctor?
Jane: They always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact, that's me, obviously.

Jane: Be reasonable. This is my case.
Lisbon: Your case?
Jane: Red John's mine.
Lisbon: Red John doesn't belong to anyone.
[Long pause, everybody except Lisbon and Jane go into the house]
Jane: He belongs to me.

[Reading note slid under Jane's hotel room door]
Red John's Note: Greetings old friend, it's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have 12 wives now and will soon begin courting number 13. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh well. All the best. Red John.

Grace: Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.
Jane: Fire away.
Grace: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?
Jane: There's no such thing as real psychics.
Grace: I beg to differ. My cousin Yolanda is a psychic.
Jane: Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both.
Rigsby: Hey, steady.
Grace: No, no, he's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power. She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself.
Jane: She let you speak with someone that's gone, someone that you love and still miss very much. You wanted her power to be real so it was.
Rigsby: You're so sure you're right. Science doesn't know everything.
Grace: Five hundred years ago, radio would have seemed like magic. Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side.
Jane: The other side?...There is no other side...

[Jane discusses Red John on a television show and returns home that evening, five years ago, and finds a note]
Red John's Note: Dear mister Jane, I don't like to be slandered in the media, especially by a dirty money-grubbing fraud. If you were a real psychic, instead of a dishonest little worm, you wouldn't need to open the door to see what I've done to your lovely wife and child.
[Jane opens the door to find a red smiling face painted on the wall....]

Mrs. Tolliver: I don't understand. You're psychic?
Jane: No, just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me.

[Jane moves a straw across the table without touching it]
Grace: How do you do that?
Jane: Telekinesis.
Cho: He blew on it.
Jane: That is another way to do it.

[To Price Randolph about his brother, Tag]
Cho: Mister Randolph - rest assured, there is no reason to persecute you. We scumbags are holding your brother because we have physical evidence linking him to the crime and potential motive in that he states that whenever you weren't around, he was banging your wife like a big bass drum.

[Lisbon walks in just after a wife shoots her husband for murdering their daughter while Jane was alone with them]
Jane: Honestly, it's not as bad as it looks.

[Accusing a father of murdering his daughter]
Jane: An innocent man would've punched me by now.

Lisbon: If it wasn't him, then who was it? And if you say a man who likes red hair and silver duct tape, I'll scream.
Patrick: I don't want you to scream.

Jane: I made a booking for two for this afternoon. Could you put us on the terrace? It's more romantic. Thanks... Yeah, Patrick... Lovely. See you then. [To Lisbon] Don't fret, I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That'd be very sophomoric.
Lisbon: I didn't think you were trying to seduce me.
Jane: Come on, how could that thought not have entered your head?
[Lisbon stares speechlessly at Jane]
Jane: Your denial that it did intrigues me.
Lisbon: Bite me.

[Talking about Raquel]
Lisbon: That was funny, the way she gave him up so easily like that?
Jane: Yeah, it was. But you were right, huh? Secret lover. Guess I was wrong about the whole red-hair-and-duct-tape thing.
Lisbon: You hypnotized her, didn't you?
Jane: I certainly did not. [Lisbon just stares at him] Okay, no. Yes, I did hypnotize her, but--
Lisbon: But nothing. It's unprofessional and it's illegal. It's totally out of bounds.
Cho:That's what I told him.
Jane: I was gonna say you had nothing to do with it, but hey.
Lisbon: [Cho]if you allow him to pull that stuff again, and you'll be showing visitors around the statehouse in a stupid hat.