Jane: Horrible job you found for yourself, Kathryn. Helping a greedy egotist snatch up beautiful things he has no ability to appreciate.

Jane: Hypnosis is just a way to connect to the imagination rather than the conscious mind. The mind will accept whatever the imagination creates, however bizarre.
Lisbon: Hypnotism is what you use against my explicit orders to get witnesses to tell the truth. It's a little different than convincing somebody that a dead girl is a sack of vegetables.
Jane: Different in scale.

Jane: I do hate when people say thank you.
Rigsby: Why?
Lisbon: He likes to play the Lone Ranger. Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him.
Jane: Exactly.

Jane: I made a booking for two for this afternoon. Could you put us on the terrace? It's more romantic. Thanks... Yeah, Patrick... Lovely. See you then. [To Lisbon] Don't fret, I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That'd be very sophomoric.
Lisbon: I didn't think you were trying to seduce me.
Jane: Come on, how could that thought not have entered your head?
[Lisbon stares speechlessly at Jane]
Jane: Your denial that it did intrigues me.
Lisbon: Bite me.

Jane: I'm not saying you knew about the affair, I'm just saying that if you did, you'd be our prime suspect. Funny when your best defense is your apparent lack of the most basic detective skills.
Marshal Exley: You little son of a bitch.
Cho: Easy.
Jane: I'm sorry. I'm just thinking aloud. No offense.
Marshal Exley: Yeah, right. No offense.
Jane: None taken.

Jane: I'm still convinced there's a connection between Medina and me, so before you make me that superhero costume I'm looking forward to, could you take me to visit with his widow?
Lisbon: Maybe.
Jane: Thank you. And incidentally, you're smelling particularly good today. [Lisbon rolls her eyes and walks away] Is that cinnamon in the mix there somewhere? Lisbon? [He reaches out to see if she's still there]

Jane: I've a daughter that would be about your age if I hadn't caused her death... her and her mother.
Frankie O'Keefe: How?
Jane: Out of arrogance... stupidity. I made an evil man very angry and he killed them to teach me a lesson. To make me sorry for what I've done... and I am sorry. Being sorry is far worse punishment than being dead, everybody dies... very few people ever feel truly sorry for the bad things they've done.

Jane: If we catch Red John, he's not walking anywhere. He's mine.
Lisbon: Don't talk like that. I can't let you anywhere near this case if you start talking crazy like that.
Jane: Crazy? You're crazy if you think you're gonna stop me. Red John is mine. You try to stand in my way and you will regret it.
Lisbon: Are you threatening me?
Jane: No, I'm just saying that if you stand in my way you--
Lisbon: [interrupting] I've had it with your egotistical crap. This isn't about justice or the law. This is about you and your wounded pride. I'm done with it.

Jane: If we're lucky, we'll find a murder weapon. It was obviously a well-planned robbery.
Cho: Why is that obvious?
Jane: Nobody finds themselves in a locked room full of old masters in the middle of the night by accident, do they? So, well-planned.

Jane: Is that an M-16 or a Kalashnikov?
AP: [to Kathryn] Son of a bitch. There's a machine gun in my painting. How in the hell could you not notice that?

Jane: It's all about the balance, Grace. Yin - Yang, nice - bitch. A little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch.

Jane: It's funny what bad liars cops are. I guess they're not used to concealing themselves under questioning.
Lisbon: I'm a cop and I lie to you all the time, you never catch it.
Jane: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're translucent, my dear. I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad.
Lisbon: Name one time.
Jane: Last thanksgiving you said you were going back East to your brother's house, but I knew you actually planned to have three days at home alone to watch old movies and eat ice cream.
Lisbon: Okay, so that's one time.

Jane: Let's go. I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from.
Grace: That's horrible.

Jane: Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her.
Lisbon: You're very combative all of a sudden.
Jane: Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.
Lisbon: The ultimate sin.
Jane: Yes it is.

Jane: Look at it this way. We've closed yet another case.
Lisbon: Toying with mafia bosses is no way to close cases, it's stupid.
Jane: Meh. You just trying to find fault. And I know why.
Lisbon: Oh, really?
Jane: You're still a little grumpy about the birthday present thing.
Lisbon: Will you leave that alone?
Jane: Unbelievable. You've got no reason to be grumpy anymore. [He puts a red bow on Lisbon's office door. She opens the door and finds a pony standing in her office. Lisbon smiles and is lost for words]